Dating can be an emotional rollercoaster. The excitement of matching with someone new, the butterflies before a first date, and having things go well can all lift your mood and confidence. 

But dating can also create feelings of anxiety, fear of rejection, and letdown when things fail. So, does putting yourself out there help or hurt your mental health? The answer is complicated.

Dating: the good, the bad and the ugly

Everyone wants to date, but people forget that there is pros and cons of everything. On the positive side, human connection and relationships are important for both physical and mental well-being. Companionship reduces loneliness and makes people happier. 

An online dating coach understands this. They offer tips on making profiles that pull in suitable matches for you. Coaches teach you communication abilities for deeper talks. And they give encouraging support when things get tricky.

According to a 2020 Pew Research Centre survey, 48% of young adults ages 18–29 have used dating sites or apps, hoping to make these connections. Dating can ease social anxiety and help you meet partners with similar interests and values.

Risks of online dating

Online dating also comes with risks. Anonymity online lets people get away with hurtful behaviour. In one Bumble survey, 54% had an experience that hurt their self-image. Racism, body-shaming remarks, and other abuse happen too often.

Dating apps themselves can also damage self-confidence. The endless options make people feel replaceable, as if they must live up to impossible standards. 

Flaking, ghosting, rejection – it’s common. Constantly putting yourself out there but getting denied takes a mental toll. According to another Pew Research study, 45% of dating app users feel frustrated, and only 28% feel hopeful.

Different mental health impacts of dating

Dating can impact your mental health. It’s different for everyone, but if you’re already dealing with stuff like anxiety, feeling down, or not liking yourself much, dating can be tough when things don’t work out. 

But on the flip side, finding someone who gets you and supports you can be really good for you. It’s kind of a balancing act.

Take someone who gets super nervous around people, for example. They might love dating apps because they don’t have to talk face-to-face right away. They can take their time writing messages, which might help them open up. 

But then again, waiting for replies or worrying about making a good impression could make them even more anxious. And if they get rejected? That can really hurt if you’re already not feeling great about yourself.

That n’t doesn’t mean it’s all bad. It just depends on who you are and how things go.

Avoiding dating completely because you’re scared of messing up is a sure way to end up lonely and miss out on some really good times. 

I heard this story about a guy who used to be hooked on drugs. His doctors actually told him to hang out with people more, not stay alone. Connecting with others can really help when you’re trying to get better, even if it’s not always easy.

Now, for those of you who are dealing with mood swings and stuff, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. The NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) says that people with conditions like bipolar disorder or depression might also have issues with drugs or alcohol. 

And that can sometimes lead to trouble in relationships. But on the bright side, a good relationship can help you stick to your treatment and be there for you when you’re feeling low.

Tips on dating with mental illness

If you have a diagnosed condition or struggle with things like mood, anxiety, substance use, or eating disorders, dating becomes a bit tricky. 

Here are some tips to help you out:

• Chat with your therapist. Before you jump into the dating pool, have a quick talk with your therapist. They can help you figure out if you’re ready and give you some good advice.
• Take it slow. Don’t feel like you have to share everything right away or meet up super quick. It’s okay to take your time and get comfortable.
• Check in with yourself. Pay attention to how you’re feeling. If dating starts to stress you out, it’s totally fine to take a break.
• Be honest (when you’re ready). You don’t have to spill everything on the first date, but as things get more serious, it’s good to open up about your mental health.
• Keep it real. Not every date will lead to a relationship, and that’s OK. Try not to take it personally if things don’t work out.
• Stay you. Don’t forget about your friends, hobbies, and the things that make you happy. A potential partner should add to your life, not become your whole world.

Also, don’t forget to take care of yourself while you are in the process! Make sure you’re:

• Getting enough sleep
• Eating well
• Moving your body
• Doing things that help you chill out
• Take your medications if you need them

Finding the right balance is super important. Dating should add to your life, not make it more challenging!

When to take a break from dating?

Sometimes, it’s good to stop dating for a while. 

Think about taking a break if:

• Dating makes you feel very tired or sad.
• Dating gets in the way of work, friends, or taking care of yourself
• You do things you don’t want to do when dating
• You don’t feel good enough to make good friends right now

It’s OK to put your feelings first.

Can dating lead to mental health improvements?

Under the right circumstances, yes, relationships can definitely boost wellness. 

We all need people in our lives, right? A good partner can be like a cheerleader for your brain. They’re there to lift you up when you’re feeling down and celebrate the good times. 

For some people dealing with mental health stuff, finding the right person can be even more helpful than therapy or medication.

But here’s the thing – don’t expect your date to be your personal superhero who’ll swoop in and fix everything. That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone, and it’s not a great plan for you, either.

Consider dating a nice bonus to your mental health journey, not the whole solution. You’ve still got to do the work on yourself, whether you’re single or married.

When you’re dating with mental health in mind, remember:

• Be open about what you need and what you can handle
• Take care of yourself; don’t just rely on your partner
• It’s okay to ask for help from others, too, not just your date
• Give as much as you get in the relationship

The best relationships are when both people support each other but still have their own lives. It’s like teamwork for your mental health!

So go ahead and date if you want to. Just remember: a good relationship can make life sweeter, but you’re still the main character in your own mental health story.

Ways dating can make you feel better 

When you do it right, here’s what can happen:

• You’re not lonely anymore. Having someone around can really cheer you up.
• You feel special. When someone cares about you, it can make you feel awesome about yourself.
• You learn good habits. A great partner can show you how to talk better and deal with tough stuff.
• You meet new people. Your date’s friends become your friends. More people to hang out with!
• You take better care of yourself. When you care about someone else, you often start caring more about yourself, too.
• You get happy hormones. Hugs and kisses can actually make your brain feel good.
• You learn to trust again. If you’ve been hurt before, the right person can help you feel safe opening up.
• You have fun again. Dating can bring back excitement if life’s been a bit boring.
• You laugh more. Joking around and having deep conversations can help push away sad thoughts.
• You get more organised. Sharing your life with someone can help you get stuff done.

Final thoughts

We humans need to connect with others, and dating is one way to do so. If you’re in a good place to date, it can boost your mood and help you grow as a person.

Just remember, Keep an eye on how you’re feeling, don’t depend on your date for everything, and Keep up with therapy and other things that help you stabilise your mental health.

If you balance it all out, dating can be super positive. The good stuff usually outweighs the tough parts. And the best part? You and your partner can learn to be happier and stronger together.

Tim Fawnshaw, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.