Are you an introvert trying to learn how to make friends? It can be hard when you suffer from social anxiety.

If you suffer from social anxiety, you may worry about the future and try to predict what will happen. You focus too much on the small details and don’t get a big-picture view. It makes it difficult to process thoughts and reason things out, which leads to more anxiety.

Introverts who overdose on the “self-conscious energy flow” may have difficulty at the start of a conversation or meetup. They overthink what to say or don’t know what to do around new people.

Not knowing what to say can cause you to feel more anxious and want to leave. But a few tricks can help put you at ease and make it easier to create new friendships. Here are some tips on how to make friends as an introvert with social anxiety.

Start online

In today’s digital age, the online world can be your social playground. It’s where you can ease into interactions at your own pace.

Joining online communities, forums, or social media groups can be a great starting point. You can discuss shared interests, watch videos about mental health to gain insights and engage with people who understand what you’re going through.

Online friendships provide a cushion against the pressures of face-to-face interactions. You can communicate through text, allowing you time to think before responding, which can relieve introverts and those dealing with social anxiety. So, don’t hesitate to explore the virtual realm to make friends who appreciate your uniqueness.

Pursue your passions

One of the simplest ways to make friends is by doing what you love. Pursuing your passions leads you to people who share those interests. Whether it’s a hobby, a class, or a community event, these settings provide common ground for starting conversations.

And guess what? Anxiety takes a back seat when discussing something you’re passionate about.

So, identify your interests and leap. If you’re into painting, join an art class; if you’re a bookworm, attend a book club; and if you love the outdoors, join a hiking group. You’ll have a good time and open doors to potential friendships by engaging in activities you enjoy. It’s about finding your tribe, where you can be yourself and connect effortlessly.

Set small goals

Facing social anxiety head-on can be intimidating. That’s why setting small, achievable goals can be a game-changer.

Start by challenging yourself in comfortable, low-pressure situations. For instance, aim to say “hello” to a coworker or neighbour. Gradually increase the complexity of your social interactions.

Your next goal is to talk briefly with someone at a social gathering. As you gain experience, your confidence will grow. Remember, it’s okay to have moments of anxiety; it’s a part of the journey.

Taking small, manageable steps will prove you can make friends despite your introversion and social anxiety.

Set realistic expectations

One big thing that can hold you back is setting the bar too high. Don’t expect to become best buddies with someone after a single conversation.

Making friends is a gradual process. So, be patient, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Again, start with small, manageable goals, like chatting briefly with a coworker or neighbour. It’s all about taking little steps to build your confidence.

Active listening

Another potent tool in your friendship-building arsenal is active listening. It’s like a secret sauce that makes people want to be around you. Instead of worrying about what to say next or how you come across, focus on what the other person says.

Be genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings. Ask questions to dig deeper into their experiences.

You create a connection when you show that you care about what they’re saying. It shifts the spotlight away from your anxiety and onto the conversation itself. Remember, you don’t have to be the life of the party; being an attentive listener can be just as valuable in forming friendships.

Practise self-compassion

Living with anxiety can be challenging, but being kind to yourself is essential. Imagine you’re talking to a friend who’s going through what you are. You wouldn’t criticize them for feeling anxious, right?

So, extend that same kindness to yourself. Acknowledge that it’s okay to have moments of anxiety. Treat yourself with the understanding you deserve.

Develop self-care routines and anxiety treatment techniques that work for you. When you’re gentle with yourself, engaging with others is more accessible. Everyone has struggles, and it’s okay to seek help and support.

Volunteer for a cause you care about

Anxiety can sometimes make socialising feel like an uphill battle, but volunteering for a cause you’re passionate about can be a game-changer. When you volunteer, you’re in the company of people who share your values and interests. This common ground provides a fantastic foundation for friendships to blossom.

Plus, you’re engaged in a purposeful activity, which can ease social anxiety because the focus isn’t solely on socialising. It’s about contributing to something meaningful. Whether working with animals, helping the environment, or supporting a community project, volunteering can be a fulfilling way to meet like-minded individuals and forge lasting friendships.

Seek professional help

Sometimes, social anxiety can be particularly challenging to overcome on your own. If it’s causing significant distress, seeking professional help is wise. Mental health professionals are trained to assist individuals with social anxiety, providing valuable strategies and support.

They might recommend various forms of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, or medication in severe cases. These anxiety treatments can equip you with tools to manage your anxiety and build the social skills necessary to make friends more comfortably. Additionally, seeking professional guidance can help you better understand your social anxiety and provide a structured improvement plan.

Tips on how to make friends as an introvert with social anxiety

Making friends as an introvert with social anxiety is not easy. But it is possible. You can build meaningful connections and overcome stress by taking small steps and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for support.

Making friends when you’re an introvert with social anxiety can feel like a daunting task, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this journey. One effective strategy is to engage in activities that you genuinely enjoy, which will naturally put you in the company of like-minded individuals. This creates a more relaxed environment, making it easier for you to initiate and sustain conversations.

Consider seeking professional guidance, such as talking to a therapist, to help you navigate your social anxiety and develop coping mechanisms. Over time, as you gain more confidence and expand your social circle, you’ll find that the effort you’ve put in is truly rewarding.

Tim Williamson, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.