Millions of people carry the quiet weight of being ignored, dismissed, or talked over by those closest to them. New psychological research suggests that this experience of being silenced can have lasting effects on mental health and self esteem. The study argues that silencing involves far more than simply being told to be quiet. It can influence how people see themselves, manage emotions, and form connections with others for years afterwards.
Published in the Psychreg Journal of Psychology, the paper by Rakhitha Rajapakse of Liverpool John Moores University brings together decades of psychoanalytic and social theory to examine how silencing takes hold. It draws on thinkers including Donald Winnicott, Melanie Klein, Judith Herman, and Michel Foucault to explore how this form of emotional oppression can operate at both personal and social levels.
According to the research, silencing often begins in childhood, when a child’s feelings are consistently ignored or dismissed by parents or carers. Over time, children may learn to hide their true feelings and present a version of themselves that feels safer and more acceptable. Winnicott described this protective mask as a false self, which can persist into adulthood long after the original danger has passed.
The study also highlights how silencing can occur through everyday relationship dynamics, including gaslighting, emotional neglect, and passive aggression. People who are repeatedly silenced may internalise guilt that was never theirs to carry, becoming withdrawn, overly compliant, or more likely to express anger indirectly rather than speak up. The paper notes that these patterns can make relationships harder to repair rather than easier.
One of the more striking contributions of the research is its distinction between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness is described as a painful, unwanted disconnection from others, while solitude, when experienced from a place of emotional safety, can support healing. The difference lies in whether a person feels genuinely supported, even when they are physically alone.
The research identifies mutual recognition, the experience of being truly seen and understood by another person, as central to recovering an authentic voice after silencing. This can occur in therapy (particularly with a licensed professional counselor trained to address emotional and relational trauma) close friendships, or supportive communities, gradually helping people trust their own perceptions again.
The author stresses that individual healing is not the whole answer. Because silencing is also rooted in wider inequalities around gender, race, and class, meaningful change requires shifts in social structures alongside personal therapeutic work. Addressing silencing, the study suggests, means tackling both the private wound and the public conditions that allow it to persist.
