Some sentences sound so wise and true on the surface that they spread like an epidemic, even though behind their beautiful and moral appearance they are far from reality. “I do not judge others” is one of them. It sounds intellectual and moral, but it is more of a slogan than a real description of what goes on in our heads.
Is it possible to never judge others?
Perhaps if we knew a little more about the brain, its structure and how it works, the answer would be different. We would realise that when we say such a sentence, perhaps without being aware of it, we are sometimes trying to deceive ourselves and others.
Judgment is not just saying out loud about someone, “He is a good person” or “His behaviour is not right”. It begins much earlier and more subtly than that, with the information reaching the brain, the way it is processed and the past experiences it calls up. It starts the very moment our mind sees something and gives it a value. When we look at a flower and say, “What a beautiful flower”, or think to ourselves, “It is not very beautiful”, we are making a judgment. When we taste food and rate its taste or smell, or find a sound pleasant or unpleasant, our mind is comparing and judging.
In many cases we even put a filter on the judgments we express, because the human mind does not want the image it has created of itself to look unpleasant. We do not want to admit that sometimes we judge like everyone else, and sometimes even more than others.
How the brain judges before we think
Our brain is rarely passive when we see something. It processes the information and gives it meaning, and from that meaning an expectation or impression forms. The brain recognises features and, even before we consciously think about something, it creates an initial reaction or expectation, which is one reason bias shapes our judgement so quietly.
We usually cannot draw conclusions directly from reality itself. Our conclusions are coloured by the information we have received, our past experiences, our expectations, our emotional state and our personal positions. This is why different people perceive the same behaviour or the same words so differently, depending on their perspective and history. So if we take “judgment” in the very broad sense of evaluating and interpreting information, it is an important part of the brain’s automatic processing and cannot easily be stopped.
We judge ourselves too
We also judge ourselves all the time: “I did well today”, “That decision was wrong”, “I didn’t try hard enough” or “I was really good today”. Judgment is part of the mind’s natural way of understanding and sorting the world. So the real question is not how to never judge, but how to judge more consciously.
How to judge more honestly
Perhaps the more honest we are with others and with ourselves, the less often we will say, “I don’t judge anyone”. A first thought or impression may arrive automatically and involuntarily. Whether we accept it as the truth and act on it, though, can be controlled and examined to some extent, although that takes practice and an awareness of all the circumstances.
An honest person might put it like this: “I make judgments, but I know my judgments are not always the same as the truth, because I cannot see every possible angle or know every circumstance, so I prefer not to treat what I have analysed in my mind as absolute truth”. That sentence is less catchy than the slogan, but it is far closer to how we actually think.
FAQs
- Is it possible to never judge others? Not in the broad sense. The brain evaluates and interprets information automatically, so an impression forms before we have consciously thought about it.
- Why do people say they don’t judge others? The sentence sounds moral and intellectual, and the mind does not like its self-image to look unpleasant, so we often filter or deny the judgments we make.
- How can you judge more consciously? Accept that first impressions are automatic, then question them before treating them as the truth or acting on them, remembering that you never see every angle.
Takeaway
Judging is built into the way the brain processes the world, from how we rate a flower or a meal to how we see other people and ourselves. Claiming never to judge is a comforting slogan, but it hides how the mind really works.
The honest alternative is to admit that we judge, to hold those judgments loosely and to remember that none of us sees the whole picture.
