For a long time, I assumed that what I needed on bad days was comfort: kind words, a hug, someone telling me it would all be fine. It took me a while to realise that wasn’t quite it. What was missing was somewhere to lay the feeling out and actually look at it, to see what it was before deciding what to do with it. Psychologists have a phrase for that instinct, name it to tame it, and there is a surprising amount of research behind it.
Name it to tame it and what happens in the brain
In a well-known study at UCLA, psychologist Matthew Lieberman and his colleagues scanned volunteers’ brains while they looked at photos of faces showing strong emotions. Sometimes the volunteers picked a word to describe the emotion, such as “angry” or “scared”. At other times they simply matched the face to a name.
When people put the feeling into words, activity in the amygdala dropped. As Lieberman put it at the time: “When you attach the word ‘angry’, you see a decreased response in the amygdala.” One word doesn’t make a difficult feeling disappear, but the finding suggests that naming is more than describing. It may be a quiet form of emotional regulation in its own right, and it sits close to the struggle people with alexithymia face every day.
Why “I feel bad” isn’t quite enough
Psychologist Lisa Feldman Barrett uses the term emotional granularity for how precisely we can describe what we feel. Someone with low granularity might say, “I feel bad.” Someone with higher granularity might say, “I feel embarrassed, and a bit left out.”
That precision seems to matter. Researchers have found that emotional granularity is associated with positive health outcomes, and a growing body of work suggests that more granular experiences of negative emotion are beneficial. Much of this research is correlational, so we can’t say for certain that naming feelings precisely causes better well-being. Still, the pattern is encouraging, and it’s a skill that can be practised.
There’s a practical upside too, because a specific word points towards a specific action. “Guilty about snapping at my friend” suggests an apology, while “generally rubbish” suggests very little.
Your face isn’t a mood ring
Here’s a twist worth knowing. We often assume we can read emotions straight off a face, so a smile means happy and a frown means sad. Yet a major review led by Barrett, which examined a large body of research, concluded that emotions can’t be reliably inferred from facial movements alone. A scowl might mean anger, or it might just mean concentration, a headache, or bright sunlight.
That matters for anyone using a mirror, a selfie, or an app to check in with themselves. A picture can be a useful prompt to pause, but it isn’t a verdict. You are the expert on what’s going on inside you.
A 60-second check-in you can try today
This short routine turns name it to tame it into a habit. Start by pausing: stop what you’re doing and take one slow breath. Then notice your body, whether that’s tight shoulders, a knot in your stomach, or a clenched jaw, because the body often registers a feeling before the mind does.
Next, pick a word and then a better one. Start broad (“stressed”) and narrow it down (“worried I’ll let my team down”). Some people find it easier to give the feeling a shape, describing it as a colour, a weather pattern, or even a little creature. Odd as it sounds, a shape can make a feeling easier to look at. Finally, ask what it needs. Rest? A conversation? Five minutes outside?
You might jot one line in your notes app or simply say it out loud. The point isn’t to fix the feeling straight away; it’s to see it clearly.
When naming isn’t enough
Putting feelings into words is a helpful everyday tool, but it isn’t a replacement for professional support. If you feel persistently low, anxious, or overwhelmed, please speak to your GP or a mental health professional. If you’re in crisis, contact your local emergency services. In the UK, you can call Samaritans on 116 123, and in the US you can call or text 988 at any time.
The next time you notice that heavy, foggy something, try giving it a name. It takes less than a minute, and it might be the most practical bit of self-care in your day.
FAQs
- What does name it to tame it mean? It means putting an emotion into words, which research links to a calmer response in the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system.
- Does naming a feeling make it go away? Not usually. It tends to take the edge off and makes it easier to decide what to do next.
- Can I tell how I feel from my face in a selfie? Not reliably. Facial expressions are ambiguous, so treat a picture as a prompt to check in rather than a verdict.
- When should I get professional help? If low mood, anxiety, or overwhelm persists, speak to your GP or a mental health professional, and call Samaritans on 116 123 if you’re in crisis.
