Dr Tiffany Chan takes a powerful stand against the relentless tattoo shaming she experiences from men who feel entitled to comment on her body in a new “Tiffany’s Secret Diary” post titled, “You’re So Pretty… But Your Tattoos Ruin You“.
The renowned sexologist, writer, designer, and content creator shares her frustration and resilience in the face of constant scrutiny. “I don’t remember the first time a man told me that my tattoos made me ugly. What I do remember is how it made me feel – like a slap, like a stranger reaching through the screen and pulling at my skin, trying to peel away something they didn’t approve of,” Chan writes.
For Chan, tattoos are far more than mere decoration; they are profound symbols of personal history. Each tattoo is a narrative of triumph, loss, and identity. “Every tattoo I have represents a pivotal moment in my life,” she explains. “Some mark the loss of loved ones as a way of carrying them with me always. Others are symbols of my strength – pieces I got after overcoming personal struggles, reminders of the resilience I’ve cultivated over the years.”
Despite the personal significance of her tattoos, she faces a recurring critique from a vocal subset of men – men who assert she has “ruined” herself with her ink. “It wasn’t just that they were criticising my tattoos; it was the entitlement, the casual authority with which they spoke. As if my body should exist for their viewing pleasure, unaltered, pristine, and pleasing to their particular tastes,” she reflects.
In a social media era, where access breeds unsolicited opinions, Chan highlights the deeper issue of control. “Social media gives them access, a direct line to say things they would never have the audacity to say to my face. But while my content is public, my consent to being body-shamed is not.” She connects tattoo shaming to broader themes of body shaming, where women’s choices are perpetually under scrutiny through the lens of the male gaze.
Chan has evolved in her response to such comments, choosing not to engage in a way that empowers them but also refusing to let such remarks go unchallenged. “I no longer let it affect me, but I also no longer allow it to go unchecked. I call it what it is – body shaming. I remind others that a woman’s body does not exist for public critique,” she states.
With this piece, Chan reclaims her narrative, emphasising that her tattoos are a personal choice, not subject to public approval. “To the men who feel compelled to tell me that I would be more beautiful without my tattoos, I say this: your approval was never the goal. My body is not a canvas for your desires – it is a canvas for mine.”
Through her candid reflection, Chan not only addresses her personal experiences but also strikes a chord with the pervasive issue of body autonomy and the right to self-expression in a society quick to judge.
