Home Mind & Brain Why We Take Things Personally Has More to Do with Them Than with Us

Why We Take Things Personally Has More to Do with Them Than with Us

Published: Last updated:
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Everybody is operating in their own reality. Let’s look at cognitive bias, which refers to distorted thinking patterns that often result in people’s perceptions and beliefs. It is almost an automatic reactive instinct shaped by past pattern recognition. Like a programmed computer, its answers are controlled by what people input, such as emotions and societal pressures. But the software only has a limited amount of space. This means that, like a filter bubble, most people’s perceptions are heavily limited to decisions that do not take everything into account.

Why this matters

To answer this question, you need to look at everyday life. As humans, we make decisions daily, both in our work and personal lives. Most people do not even realise that every interaction is influenced by shortcuts in the mind that make things easier, but also lead to mistakes. As a psychology lecturer, one of my favourite topics is reconstructive memory, or how the mind changes aspects of the past to fit its own perception. Bias linked to this acts as the ringmaster of illusion in the brain, creating shortcuts to provide answers. Every decision people make is aimed at making things simpler, so when they speak to others and make decisions about them, it is based on a very real desire to simplify the world around them.

Confirmation bias

Confirmation bias means looking for information that supports your existing view. It can also be linked to labelling. People rely on preconceived ideas and seek out anything that fits their narrative, creating the echo chamber they live in.

Anchoring bias

Anchoring bias is rooted in the belief that first impressions matter most. This conflicts with the principle of scientific falsifiability. Imagine hearing something once and then never changing your mind, even when it is clearly incorrect. If this were how the world worked, progress in science and technology would not exist. But the mind sometimes prefers the comfort of simplicity.

Availability heuristic

The availability heuristic is about recalling what comes most easily to mind. People often form ideas based on one event. They think, “I saw this before, I know how it goes,” without really considering all the information.

Hindsight bias

Hindsight bias is the belief that everything was predictable after it happened. A failed marriage might lead to the comment, “Well, I saw that coming.” We all turn into perfect psychics after the fact, or more likely, the mind is trying to impose order on chaos.

The evolutionary link

These biases are part of human evolution. The genome lag theory suggests that our bodies and minds are still wired for survival and have not fully adapted to modern life. These mental shortcuts often appear under stress, such as when we need to make a quick decision. They may even work against innovation, because they favour safety, and innovation is rarely safe.

What to remember

Next time you have to make a judgement about someone, take a deep breath and slow down. Look for voices that challenge your view and examine the situation critically. Ask yourself whether you are only seeing one side. Try flipping the script, and if possible, look for the most objective information available. And if someone has made a simplistic judgement about you, remember they are interpreting things through their own lens. Often, it has nothing to do with you at all. Some of the greatest minds in history were misunderstood simply because they were ahead of their time.




Ayten Nevzat is a psychology lecturer with an MSc whose academic interests include cognition, neurodiversity, and health psychology. She promotes critical thinking through a humanistic teaching style and is planning to pursue a PhD in psychology.