Across the UK, families are placing white pumpkins in their windows and gardens this October to remember babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. The gesture, now recognised by many during Baby Loss Awareness Week (9th–15th October), has become a quiet yet powerful act of love and remembrance.
According to Sands, around 2,545 stillbirths were recorded in the UK in 2023, representing a rate of 3.9 per 1,000 total births. The charity estimates that around one in four pregnancies ends in loss, including miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death. The figures show that pregnancy and infant loss touches thousands of families each year, yet many say their grief remains unseen.
Aleksandra Balazy-Knas, a cognitive behavioural therapist specialising in perinatal mental health and pregnancy after loss, said the white pumpkins offer bereaved parents a tangible way to express enduring love and grief. “For these families, the white pumpkins are so much more than just seasonal decorations,” she said. “They are a powerful way to remember and honour babies they have lost too soon. This quiet act allows parents to say, ‘You were here. You mattered.’”
Balazy-Knas explained that visible rituals like this can help families maintain what psychologists call “continuing bonds” with their babies, which recognises that maintaining emotional connection can be a natural and healing part of bereavement. “I’ve seen how these small symbols and rituals can be healing,” she added. “They create space for parents to include the baby who’s missed as part of their family’s seasonal traditions.”
The emotional significance of the white pumpkins extends beyond private remembrance. They also serve as a public statement that challenges lingering taboos around pregnancy loss. Balazy-Knas said many parents are still told to “move on” or “try again”, which can deepen feelings of isolation. “This act strongly challenges that harmful narrative,” she said. “It reminds people that baby loss isn’t rare; it’s many of us.”
Anna Maling, who has written about reproductive loss and grief awareness, said the symbol also helps break what she calls “the cycle of invisible grief”. She explained: “Reproductive losses are far more common than most people realise, yet the silence around them leaves many parents unprepared for the complex emotions that follow. The white pumpkins help break that cycle. They offer a quiet, visible reminder that these losses matter and that the grief deserves to be witnessed.”
Maling added that pregnancy loss often falls under what psychologists term “disenfranchised grief”, meaning grief that is not socially recognised. “In our society, we already struggle to hold supportive space for grief, and pregnancy losses are even more invisible,” she said. “White pumpkins create a safe, tangible way to be seen. They allow grievers to feel held without relying on others to say the right thing.”
Community participation is another vital aspect of awareness month. Families and supporters are encouraged to display white pumpkins with short explanation cards, take part in the global Wave of Light on 15th October, or share messages of remembrance online. “A simple acknowledgement can mean everything,” Maling said. “Something like, ‘I saw the white pumpkin and just wanted to let you know that I see you. I am here for you.’ Supporting someone isn’t about fixing their grief. It’s about being there.”
