Being accused of domestic violence is a hard hit that can cause reputational damage and personal problems in addition to a legal nightmare. Whether the claim is accurate or not, the consequences can be devastating. You can be arrested, have a restraining order issued against you, lose your job, and be forced to face public scrutiny. That’s why how you respond matters. If you’re facing domestic violence accusations, here’s what you need to do.

Stay calm

Whether the claim is true or not, responding emotionally will only hurt your case. Stay calm and keep your cool. Panic can lead to irrational and reactive decisions that can get you in even more trouble. For example, you don’t want to lash out at anyone online, contact your accuser, or admit guilt while justifying it as the other person’s fault. Emotional composure will be your strength in the matter. 

If you get arrested, no matter how bleak things seem, don’t give up by admitting guilt; you can fight domestic violence charges with a lawyer. Talking to police without an attorney and pleading guilty to get things over with faster isn’t a good strategy. With the help of an attorney, you might be able to negotiate a plea, manage protective orders, and possibly move for dismissal. 

Comply with protective orders

A protective order can drastically limit your freedoms before you’re even found guilty. It can force you out of your own home, prevent you from seeing your kids, and force you to give up your firearms. And while it feels unfair, not complying can get you in a lot of trouble. 

If you’ve been issued a temporary no-contact or emergency protective order without your side being heard, you still need to comply. They’re civil in nature, but non-compliance can result in criminal charges. Even a simple text or third-party contact can be a violation.

Many states apply a low standard for approving protective orders. When only a preponderance of evidence is required, allegations alone can trigger the order. The judge only needs to believe it’s more likely than not that abuse occurred.

If you’ve been issued a protective order that feels unfair, don’t try to argue with the judge or the protected party. Maintain compliance and talk to your attorney about addressing a modification with the court. 

Build your evidence

Your best defence will be built on facts you can substantiate. Collect communications like text messages, emails, call logs, and details of discussions. Get witness statements if possible, especially if they were present when the alleged incident occurred. 

Document your own injuries, activities, and alibis. Photos, medical records, timestamps, and receipts can help your case. Just don’t delete texts or block accounts on social media to avoid looking suspicious. It’s important to preserve everything, even if it’s not in your favor.

Stay off social media

Anything you post to sites like Facebook and Instagram can be used against you, even if it seems innocent. A simple “like” or meme can be obtained by the prosecution and used against you. 

Avoid reaching out to or interacting with your accuser on social media. Even if all you do is like a photo they post of your own children, that’s enough to violate the order and can be considered a criminal offense. Log out of your accounts until the whole situation has been resolved. 

Understand what lies ahead

If you’ve only been accused, but not arrested, there could be an arrest in your future. However, if you’ve already been arrested, you can expect to go through an arraignment, a preliminary hearing, and either a trial or plea agreement that will end your case. Don’t skip any of these appointments and always have your lawyer with you. 

Be prepared for collateral damage to your job, child custody arrangements, immigration status, and possibly your housing situation. 

A well-handled case won’t necessarily end up in a public trial. Many cases end in diversion, a plea deal, or dismissal. Getting legal help from an attorney right away is the key to a stronger defence and better case outcome.

Don’t fight your battle alone

Fighting accusations of domestic violence can feel isolating and scary, but you have rights and you can defend those rights with a good lawyer. But you need to act fast and stay calm. Gather your evidence, hire a good lawyer, avoid social media, and understand the legal process you’ll be facing. Don’t try to do it alone. A skilled criminal defence attorney is your best shot at a fair resolution.

Tim Williamson, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.