Everyone is experiencing pain; there is no getting away from it. But being a human can be quite challenging.
So, before being a friend to everyone, be a friend first to yourself. Humans easily judge individuals and situations they do not understand simply because they do not experience it; the world is already cruel, and we need an ally, which is ourselves.
Our internal criticism may be deafening, and the unending harsh word we keep throwing at ourselves is tiring. That habit must be put to an end. It is not helping us to heal but rather pushes us to self-drowning.
Let us make this scenario to help us view what we should be doing to ourselves instead of imagining that your friend is struggling and sharing to you his situation. Will you feed him with negativity?
Of course, not. As a friend, you will help him to feel better and make him realise what should be done without judgment and with kindness and how self-compassion works.
As cliché as it may sound, as easy as it to speak, loving ourselves is one of the hardest things that we learn in this life. It is a long process, a long journey and not every one of us learns this fully.
Everyone experiences sorrow, but it is crucial to understand that suffering can often seem lonely and isolated. We believe no one could ever comprehend how trying this time is for us or how isolated we feel in our pain. How will we help ourselves to be more compassionate?
Using your words is one of the most popular strategies for developing self-compassion
Instead of saying something like, “You are such a moron! Why are you acting in this way? Initially, you might try to replace statements such as,” It seems natural that you would feel that way about this occurrence. Everyone would feel the same way in those circumstances.
Physical touch is another great technique to practice self-compassion
How do you physically relate to yourself when you are struggling? Do you clench your hands or stiffen your shoulders? Do you grind your teeth? A kind touch can comfort you when you are struggling.
Respond to your struggle gently
Instead of beating yourself up and threatening yourself with punishment, you could respond to your struggle by gently coaching yourself through a challenging period.
To be self-compassionate, forgiveness is essential
While everyone makes errors, not everyone is willing to accept responsibility for them.
Depending on the error, this can be a very difficult process, but remember that you cannot go back (no matter how much you want to); thus, the best course of action is to choose forgiveness and onward movement.
Learn to accept who you are, especially your flaws
You do not necessarily have to enjoy something just because you accept it. Everyone has qualities they do not love about themselves, but the more you accept the things you can not alter, the happier you will be with the person you are.
It is not just about you when it comes to how you treat, see, and communicate with yourself. It is crucial to always choose self-compassion since it has a cascading effect that affects all of your relationships and decisions – it alters your life and, in a broader sense, the entire planet.
A daily reminder that always choose to be gentle with yourself.
Dina Relojo is the social media manager of Psychreg. She is a high school teacher from the Philippines.