If one can love their partner warmly in the beginning, why do you think people say it changes once you get married?
This happens because different people have different attachment styles, and the commitment to live with another person until death demands a little bit more effort than love itself.
Do you want a satisfactory conjugal life? The following dos and don’ts will let you know how to have that life with your partner.
Do’s
Here are the ‘Dos’ you need to practice regardless of how many days you are in a relationship.
Prepare yourself to forgive
There will inevitably be challenges when two people decide to merge their lives into one. Healthy marriages require both partners to forgive and forget the attacks one has suffered at the hands of the other.
The tip is to discuss and forget. If your partner’s behavior has hurt you, you should discuss it properly with valid reasons and forget about it.
Show both physical and verbal affection
According to the tantric academy, physical intimacy is a key factor in order to reignite the lost love in any relationship.
Being close to each other and having physical touch is scientifically proven to reduce stress levels and anxiety in many couples. So, cuddle often.
We are human, and sadly, we don’t have the ‘mindreading’ superpower. Therefore, a few people occasionally need verbal reassurance and need to hear that their partner loves them no matter what.
Check-in with one another
You should always check in with each other as a married pair. It will help you stay on the same page with what is going on with your life, and you can even find out the stress they have been hiding.
It’s also polite to check in with your significant other about weekend plans and whether or not you should accept social invitations.
Plan date nights
Instead of arguing and complaining that your partner doesn’t spend enough time with you and is always busy with their work, plan a date night yourself.
Surprising your partner with a secretly planned date night on weekends will give you a chance to talk about what you expect from this relationship or how you can do better for your partner.
Your date night may spice things up and lead to a great time in bed later. Do your research on great aftercare, as that can help deepen your bond.
Don’ts
Here are five common mistakes labeled as ‘Don’ts’ in a marriage.
Stop having unrealistic expectations
No relationship is perfect, and disagreements are part of a healthy relationship. It’s tempting to believe the fairy tale that married life will be perfect, but that’s rarely the case.
Recognize that neither you nor your partner is flawless and that neither you nor your relationship is either. Don’t be rude if your partner forgets to do something or attend a family occasion. Try to understand what is stressing your partner and be supportive.
Don’t use withholding sex as a form of punishment
You should never consider it fair to reward your lover with sexual activity. It’s meant to be something married couples do together to strengthen their bond and enjoy some lighthearted fun.
It’s normal for partners who are upset to find the prospect of physical intimacy unpleasant. However, it’s risky and unpleasant to weaponize sex in a dispute or to threaten your spouse with sexual activity if you lose.
You must also be careful about what you say while having sex. If you say the meanest things said during sex, it will hurt your partner’s feelings.
Don’t play the blame game
Blaming each other at the time of an argument in a relationship only brings unhappiness to both parties. Do not keep score of when your partner is guilty of past mistakes. You can’t expect your marriage to flourish when you and your partner continue to repeat old fights.
Don’t disrespect your partner
There will inevitably be occasions when one partner says or does something that causes harm or upsets the other. However, you should never treat your spouse or your marriage with deliberate contempt.
Even if you feel hurt, do not disrespect your partner. Communicate your feelings to your partner and make them see what they did wrong.
Takeaway
Who doesn’t want a satisfactory conjugal life? We hope that these dos and don’ts revived all these facts you have always known but never tried to apply in your married life.
Ellen Diamond, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.
