The bottom line: Christmas is a significant source of psychological stress for many people, with financial pressure, family conflict, loneliness, social anxiety, and overconsumption all commonly intensifying during the Christmas season. These stressors are not simply personal failings but recognisable patterns that respond well to practical boundary-setting, realistic budgeting, and early planning. Where Christmas consistently exposes deeper issues such as disordered eating, problem drinking, or social anxiety disorder, it represents a meaningful prompt to seek professional support rather than wait for the new year.
They say it is the season to be jolly, they say. But, if that’s true, why do so many of us find that we are totally stressed out when it comes to Christmas?
Here are top ten most common Christmas stressors, and what to do about them:
1. Her gift cost more than mine: Not spending enough
You look at all of the presents as you sit wrapping them and suddenly you realise this person has less than one. You feel panic in the pit of your stomach, and before you know it, you’re online shopping again, buying something extra just as a backup plan.
Many of us spend way too much at Christmas, more than we can afford, and a lot of it on credit cards. Give what you can afford, and it’s quite acceptable these days to let people know that you’re only going to spend so much – do them a favour; chances are they are worrying about the same thing as you are. Set a budget, OR tell people that this year you won’t be spending and would prefer to give a donation to charity.
2. Lack of relationship: Christmas can be lonely
One of the first, and biggest, fears that people often have at Christmas is the fear of being lonely.
Many people find themselves single at Christmas, and if this has ever happened to you, have you noticed that maybe you were perfectly fine being single in March. But when it comes to December, you start to notice people as “couples”, cosying up by that log fire, and you start to wonder why you are single.
On the flip side, more and more people couple up together and break up once Christmas is over – again, avoiding the fear of being single. George Michael didn’t write Last Christmas for nothing – take note from that hit single and save your heart for someone special.
When you find your mind wandering to “But really, should I be single?” Tell yourself that for every single person out there, there is someone in a relationship who feels equally as lonely. Learn how to enjoy your own company.
3. Having to deal with the “family”
You spend your whole year avoiding them, and then Christmas comes and you feel obliged to spend an entire week with them! Many people dread Christmas because of having to spend time (and lots of it) with their family.
Too much of a good thing can quickly bore anyone, so this year, do yourself and your family a favour and tell them that you plan to restrict your time with them as you feel like having some “me time”. You are in control of how much time you spend with them, so set your boundaries before you hit the Christmas season.
If you really can’t avoid spending a lot of time with the family, make sure that you pencil in lots of “me breaks” – a long hot bath, a walk alone, sitting and reading a book, a drive. Find time to be on your own a little, to put things back into balance and perspective.
4. Have I spent enough?
Next door has a tree bigger than yours, and it’s the one in the garden. Ouch. These days, everything is shown off on social media, including the size of your Christmas tree. You have one of two choices if this is worrying you: buy a really big tree and throw lots of bling on it, or start a campaign online about people spending more than they can afford this Christmas and actually take a stand on things.
You don’t have to buy into the consumerism. Be someone who displays individualism and doesn’t feel the need to “keep up with the Joneses”.’
5. The office party: You did what?
There’s always that one office story, where so-and-so kissed so-and-so… it’s too easily done when too much alcohol is flowing. If you find yourself stressing about what you might do and who you might do it with, make a promise to yourself not to drink so much that you lose control of things.
And drinking isn’t just an issue at the office party – Christmas in general can be a time when drinking issues are highlighted. One too many glasses at the dinner table has led to many a family argument.
So, if you find that curbing your drinking is a problem, maybe now is the time to seek help. Christmas is a time for fun and celebrations yes, but it can also really highlight when someone has a drink problem.
6. The weight factor: Who ate all the pudding?
You spent all of November on a diet, and then December arrives, and before you know it, you feel like you have eaten a month’s worth of food in one sitting. Part of our brain tells us that we should treat ourselves because it’s Christmas.
One way to tackle this is to plan your menu before Christmas and allow yourself a certain number of treats per day. Then, stick to that. Before you start saying, “I can’t…”have a talk with yourself in the mirror. Are you really saying that you have no self-control here? If that is the case, then maybe you need to look at what your issues are with food and seek some help to resolve them.
7. Once Christmas is over, what am I doing with my life again?
There’s something about the festive season, and the approaching New Year, that encourages us to sit back and take stock of things. What exactly am I doing with my life? Seeing friends and family can really trigger this. Often, you haven’t seen these people for ages, and they ask you, “What have you been up to? What are you doing now?”.
This year, look at your life and assess things before we arrive at Christmas. You know that this conversation is coming, so turn up to family gatherings this year with your answer ready: “Well, funny you should ask that because actually I am…”
8. How will I survive in January?
Having spent way more than is realistic, when January arrives we have no idea how we will manage things when it comes to money. If this is a worry for you, then follow some of the steps above: Cut back on gift spending and instead donate to charity; plan your menu and reduce your food and alcohol bill; refuse to keep up with the Joneses’ and reduce what you spend on decorations; batch cook things such as soup and meals and store them in the freezer.
If you have a problem with curbing spending, then maybe you need to get help to address that. Often understanding the root cause can solve the issue quite quickly.
9. I can’t face all of those people
If you are shy or struggle with something such as social anxiety disorder, then having to see so many people, whether it be in the busy shops, crowds on the streets and train stations, or attending parties and seeing friends and family – can be a challenge. Christmas can bring on a sense of panic, and a strong desire to ‘just hide under the duvet’ for a lot of people.
First things first: you are not alone if you suffer with social anxiety. Secondly, you really do not have to see anyone if you don’t want to. But avoiding people ‘out and about’ can be pretty impossible if you need to leave the house in order to get to your day job or the shops.
Christmas can be so much fun, so make this year the year that you refuse to be a victim of social anxiety and seek help to get this issue sorted. Like so many anxieties, there is plenty that can be done to help you overcome them. One or two sessions with a specialist may be all you need to enjoy Christmas to the full.
In some ways it’s normal to stress about Christmas. But if the festive season highlights some issues for you, such as drinking problems, overspending issues, eating too much, not knowing how to say no to people, being a people pleaser, to name a few, then consider seeing a therapist who specialises in tackling fear, stress, and worry, and can instil a more confident mindset.
10. The endless Christmas to-do list
Christmas cards to write, gifts to wrap, decorations to put up, food to plan, parties to attend; the list feels endless, and the pressure mounts. It’s easy to feel like no matter how hard you try, you’ll never get everything done.
If the never-ending to-do list is overwhelming you, remember this: Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. Prioritise the things that truly matter to you and let go of the rest. Delegate tasks to family members, opt for shortcuts like digital cards, or even skip the things that don’t bring you joy. By focusing on what’s meaningful, you can lighten your load and reclaim the magic of the season.
Christopher Paul Jones, a leading Harley Street phobia expert and author, developed The Integrated Change System to rapidly cure fears, anxiety, and phobias.
