They say that 30 is the new 20. Even though we can all agree upon that, we firmly believe that this definition should be extended to ’60 is the new 20′. Also 70, 80, and everything that comes in between. Why?
That’s because we live in completely unique times that give us a plethora of opportunities regardless of age. Do you still remember when seniors had to stick to knitting by the fireplace, and waving their cane at kids who trespassed on their lawns? That’s old news! Nowadays, retirement is finally the time in life to truly live it up, get fulfilled, and do all the things that you didn’t have the time for before.
And this includes everything – from travelling (remember the crazy trip to Vegas that Michael Douglas and Morgan Freeman had in this one comedy?), through developing new passions and, finally, finding love.
The latter one, though, although generally possible, can be quite tricky at times. In the end, finding true love is hard to even young people, who theoretically may have more opportunities to encounter a future partner. Not to mention seniors, who might not even know how to start the process.
Don’t worry. If you, too, are a senior who would like to find a perfect partner, simply follow our three main tips.
Choose the right place
The key to finding a date is being in the right place at the right time. Although falling in love with a random person on the street is possible, typically, we advise going for more time-appropriate methods.
The modern world we live in is abundant with other dating options – and by ‘other,’ we mean ‘digital’! Before you roll your eyes, hear us out.
Dating apps – although widely popularised by our dearest Millenials – are for everyone. They’re easy to manage, convenient, and absolutely free. All you need is a smartphone with some data and a good photo that can show off all of your best angles. A catchy bio won’t hurt either. After setting this up, you’ll see that it’s as simple and pleasant as choosing someone who chose you and starting a conversation.
If that part, too, turns out to be somewhat problematic – in the end, how on Earth to keep up a conversation online? You can always do some ‘dating research’ beforehand and see what other seniors are doing in the love department. There are also special websites that cater to senior love lives, like Beyond Ages, where you can look at information relevant to your age group – no riff-raff.
If you prefer more traditional methods of finding love, you can join an interest group or a hobby club. Whether it’s chess-playing, choir singing, painting, or language learning, you are bound to find the people who share your passion and age. Surely there’s plenty of them in your city too – just look them up online! And if you don’t have any passion yet, this can be a great start to get inspired and try something new.
Know your expectations
Before you start actively searching for a partner, you must establish your expectations for this experience. For instance, think about what you need from your next relationship. Consider your love history to define your requirements and your turn-offs clearly. Make sure you know what you’re looking for: whether it’s casual dating or a serious relationship, and ensure that you and the person you’re beginning to date are on the same page.
Moreover, it’s important that you enter the new relationship with a clear mind, without any baggage. Make sure not to let your past traumas overshadow the excitement coming from meeting someone new.
If letting go of the past seems hard, don’t be afraid to contact a specialist, such as a therapist. The doctors will eagerly help your mental health and enable you to begin a healthy relationship with yourself, which is necessary for forming a healthy relationship with anybody else.
Of course, it’s always easier to say than to do. We want to tell you to simply remember not to stress yourself over something so trivial as dating. In the end, love, relationships, and dates should be all about fun and enjoyment.
So don’t think about it as a stressful job interview, creating pressure and over-the-top expectations. Instead, realise that it’s nothing more than the occasion to meet a few new people. You don’t have to find a future husband or wife – if your date goes south, who knows, maybe you will end up being good friends?
Summing up, use this time for entertainment. Enjoy yourself, talk to some people, share the experiences, and don’t be afraid to experiment. If not now, when?
To find true love, you have to trust the process. Indeed, at times, it might get impatient, desperate, and sad. However, don’t give up just yet – the time will still come.
Instead of stressing out, look around yourself and notice all the chances and opportunities you can still take. You can do it without anyone judging you, too – that’s the true beauty of the times we live in. So, grasp all the possibilities and don’t be afraid to use them. In the end, it’s all about you and your happiness. Good luck.
Tommy Williamson did his degree in psychology at the University of Edinburgh. He has an ongoing interest in mental health and well-being.
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