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10 Tips to Help You Discover Your Desires

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In our fast-paced world, many of us grapple with finding clarity amid the cacophony of desires, options, and societal expectations. But discerning what one truly wants is not merely a luxury; it’s a necessity for leading a fulfilled life. If you’ve been pondering over your true desires, you’re not alone.

Here are some methods to assist you in unravelling the threads of genuine desire from the complex tapestry of life:

1. Deep reflection

Before you can truly understand your desires, it’s imperative to set aside regular time for introspection. Try to find a quiet place, free from distractions, where you can ask yourself some hard-hitting questions: “What makes me truly happy?”, “When do I feel most alive?”, “What dreams did I abandon as a child?”. Your answers might surprise you.

2. Journal your thoughts

Writing down your thoughts can provide clarity. Whether it’s a daily diary entry or a simple list of things you love or dislike, putting pen to paper can help you connect the dots. Over time, patterns might emerge, revealing hidden desires or suppressed dreams.

3. Visualise your ideal day

Imagine a day when you’d feel absolutely content and fulfilled. What would you be doing? Who would you be with? Where would you be? This exercise allows you to picture what true contentment looks like for you, potentially highlighting areas of your current life that need reevaluation.

4. Listen to your gut

Sometimes, our bodies understand things before our minds do. That knot in your stomach or that burst of energy might be telling you something. Trust your instincts; they’re often based on subconscious perceptions you might not be consciously aware of.

5. Consult with loved ones

Sometimes, those who are close to us can see things that we might be blind to. They might observe patterns, passions, or talents in us that we overlook. A candid conversation with a trusted friend or family member might shed light on what you truly want.

6. Try new things

It’s hard to know if you like something without giving it a shot. Experiment with new hobbies, read different kinds of books, travel to new places, or even just change up your daily routine. These experiences might ignite a passion you didn’t know you had.

7. Seek professional guidance

If you’re still struggling, consider seeking the assistance of a life coach or counsellor. These professionals are trained to help individuals understand themselves better and could provide tools and strategies tailored to your personal journey.

8. Limit external influences

In the age of social media, it’s easy to be swayed by other people’s lives and desires. Limiting your exposure to these platforms can reduce the noise and allow you to focus on what you truly want, rather than what you think you should want.

9. Define your values

What do you stand for? Your core values can serve as a compass, guiding you towards what you genuinely desire. Knowing what you value can help in making decisions aligned with your true self.

10. Accept that desires can change

It’s OK if what you want now is different from what you wanted five years ago. As we grow and evolve, so do our desires. Embrace the journey and allow yourself to adapt and change.


iguring out what you truly want is a journey of self-discovery that requires introspection, patience, and sometimes, a little guidance. By committing to this journey, you pave the way for a more fulfilling and authentic life. After all, once you know what you want, you’re better equipped to chase it with all your heart.

Serena Mathews is a life coach, avid traveller, and cat enthusiast based in Brighton.

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