For many, a wedding is expected to be the happiest day of their lives, but for a significant portion of Britons, the reality doesn’t always live up to the dream. A new study by greetings card marketplace thortful has found that 34% of married couples in the UK felt their special day wasn’t the best of their lives.

This revelation is particularly striking given the high costs associated with weddings. The average UK wedding costs between £20,000 and £24,000, a significant investment for a single day. With so much pressure to make it perfect, it’s perhaps unsurprising that many couples are left with regrets.

The top wedding day regrets

The study highlights some of the most common wedding day regrets. More than one in 10 respondents (13%) said they would change their guest list if they could, with many wishing they had uninvited certain people.

Other regrets included guests drinking too much (7%), dissatisfaction with the menu (7%), and issues with seating arrangements (6%). Additionally, 5% of couples said they regretted their venue choice, and 5% said they were dissatisfied with the DJ. Smaller but still notable concerns involved the wedding party’s attire (4%) and the date of the wedding itself (4%).

A thortful spokesperson noted that the stress and expectations surrounding weddings can often overshadow the day’s enjoyment. “The pressure for everything to be perfect can sometimes take over,” they said, “but it’s important to focus on the joy of the day itself.”

What married couples recommend to future brides and grooms

Having experienced these regrets, married couples offered their top tips for those currently planning their weddings. The most common piece of advice, shared by more than a third (34%), was to avoid drinking too much in order to remember the day clearly.

A close second recommendation (33%) was to allow ample time to get ready in the morning. Couples stressed the importance of not feeling rushed on the big day, which can add unnecessary stress.

Other useful tips included taking less time for photographs so that more time can be spent with guests (22%), testing shoes in advance to ensure they’re comfortable and don’t slip or squeak (22%), and scheduling a final dress fitting the week before to avoid any last-minute surprises (20%).

In addition, nearly 1 in 5 (19%) advised against asking for wedding gifts or money, deeming it “too cheeky.” Brides also recommended choosing make-up artists who have been previously tried and tested to prevent any beauty mishaps (18%).

The little details that make a big difference

Many couples suggested paying attention to smaller details that can help things run more smoothly. For example, 16% of respondents encouraged practicing wedding speeches beforehand to avoid any on-the-day nerves.

Another 16% suggested allowing guests to take and share photos on social media, as professional photographs can take a long time to arrive. Meanwhile, 13% emphasised the importance of ensuring the officiant can pronounce both parties’ names correctly—a seemingly small detail that can have a big impact.

For couples looking to perfect their aisle walk, 12% suggested practising it a few times at the venue before the actual ceremony to ease nerves.

Interestingly, 6% of respondents went so far as to recommend skipping the lavish wedding altogether and investing the money in a home instead.

Wedding regrets and advice in context

While the idea of the “perfect wedding” looms large, this study underscores the reality that not everything goes according to plan. However, the key takeaway for many couples is to focus less on the small mishaps and more on enjoying the day.

A spokesperson from Thortful concluded, “Although a wedding can and should be a very special day, the expectation, pressure, and money involved for it to be flawless can take over. We hope our study will help future couples focus on the joy of the day itself, rather than stressing over perfection.”

For anyone currently planning their wedding, the advice from those who’ve been through it is clear: prepare well, avoid the pitfalls, but most importantly, savour the moments that make the day uniquely yours.