3 MIN READ | Psychotherapy

Talkspace Online Therapy: Why You Should Put Yourself First

Dennis Relojo-Howell

Reading Time: 3 minutes

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Brene Brown once said that it’s essential for people to set boundaries even if it’s at the risk of disappointing others. All humans aspire to be seen, loved and embraced. Sometimes this feeling is so strong such that people sacrifice their sense of self to receive validation from their loved ones. Without daily rituals to assist you to set firm boundaries of self-love, an individual can get lost in other people’s opinions and needs.

People who aspire to be liked by others, or individuals who need to please the rest, generally have a difficult time setting their boundaries. Like Rachel O’ Neill reiterates, individuals who utilise emotions as a primary reason to achieve or not achieve something can also experience difficulty in setting limits.

For instance, a person may think that they are exhausted today and would rather stay in but feel guilty telling their friend that they can’t join them for dinner. They may end up going for dinner just to please their friends and have some sense of belonging. In this instance, guilt is the primary motive.


As a people pleaser, Rachel O’ Neil started giving in to people’s pressure at a tender age. She used to internalise people’s pain and felt it was her responsibility to help them maintain jovial faces. She was often worried that if she failed to do as they demanded, her friends would abandon her. O’ Neil also felt like her bosses wouldn’t like her. The idea that people would love and accept her if she were perfect is defined as the lack of sense in an individual’s self-worth.

Since then, she’s learned that her people-pleasing tendencies weren’t earnest when it came to protecting herself against pain as well as sadness. Individuals who find it hard to set boundaries could be afraid of disappointing individuals or having others, not like them. There can also be some aspect of concern that saying no to people might lead to their expulsion from a social group.

What’s the relationship between setting boundaries and self-comparison? It’s important to learn to love and accept yourself the way you are since that’s a life-changing move. Research indicates that practising unconditional love and self-acceptance is a vital step toward quieting one’s self-criticism voice.

Practising self-acceptance

You’re allowed to say no. Individuals who find it challenging to set boundaries often experience some sense of fear regarding what might happen. Dr O’Neil insists that the first step toward learning how to set a person’s limits is by permitting themselves to say no. It’s OK for an individual to put themselves first.

Tune into your emotional state

Turning into a person’s emotional state, and how particular people, as well as situations, impact how an individual feels about themselves, can provide clues about when it’s time to set a boundary.

Practise love-kindness meditation

Particularly on days when a person feels sensitive, practising a loving and kindness meditation is a great way to heighten feelings of love. Focus your attention inward and concentrate on your well-being.

Talkspace

Online therapy refers to internet therapy, e-therapy, or web therapy. Talkspace is an online therapy app that provides its users with access to healthcare therapists over the internet. The company aims to eradicate the hurdles that mentally challenged individuals face by launching online therapy. This makes it easier for them to get help.

Additionally,it enables its users to get the help they need when they need it. The organization provides people with some space where customers can connect to therapists as well as online therapy networks. Besides providing online therapy to all members, Talkspace therapy offers the broader community information through blogposts.


Dennis Relojo-Howell is the world’s first blog psychologist and founder of Psychreg. He writes for the American Psychological Association and for other online publications.


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