A new survey suggests many American couples are experiencing declining physical and emotional intimacy, with stress, exhaustion, and modern pressures quietly eroding closeness in long term relationships.

ZipHealth surveyed 1,000 partnered Americans to examine emotional and physical connection among couples. The findings point to what the survey describes as an “intimacy recession”, with many couples reporting dissatisfaction despite strong feelings of love and commitment.

Overall, 28% of partnered Americans said they are dissatisfied with their current level of intimacy. Nearly 2 in 5 respondents, or 38%, reported a decline in sexual frequency over the past year, while only 13% said they were having sex more often.

On average, Americans reported having sex about 6 times per month, roughly 1 to 2 times per week, or around 73 times per year. Sexually satisfied respondents reported having sex about twice a week on average, more than double the frequency of dissatisfied couples, who reported having sex less than once a week.

Satisfaction levels varied by relationship length. Couples together for less than a year reported the highest satisfaction at 78%. Satisfaction declined steadily over time and levelled off at around 55% after six years. Across age groups, respondents reported that intimacy began to noticeably decline around the six year mark of their relationship.

Younger couples reported higher sexual frequency but were not immune to decline. Gen Z couples averaged 7 sexual encounters per month, compared to 6 among millennials and 4 among Gen X and baby boomers.

When asked why intimacy had decreased, respondents most commonly cited exhaustion at 57% and stress or burnout at 47%. Other contributing factors included:

• Mental health struggles or lack of time and privacy, each cited by about one third of respondents
• Parenting demands and emotional distance, both cited by 31%
• Health related changes at 30%
• Boredom at 24%, job stress at 22%, loss of attraction at 16%, and increased phone use at 14%

Nearly half of respondents, 48%, described their relationship as emotionally close but physically distant. Fourteen percent said their relationship now feels “more like roommates than lovers”, a sentiment most commonly reported by millennials at 14% and Gen Z at 9%.

Sleep arrangements were another factor linked to intimacy. Thirteen percent of respondents reported having a “sleep divorce”, meaning they regularly sleep in separate beds. Among those couples, sex occurred less frequently, averaging about three times per month or roughly once every 10 days. Nearly a quarter, 23%, said sleeping apart hurt intimacy, while 35% said it improved their connection by reducing tension and improving rest.

The reasons for sleeping separately varied. Over half, 52%, said they simply sleep better apart. Snoring or movement issues were cited by 41%, temperature or comfort differences by 32%, and mismatched schedules by 27%. Some respondents said sleeping apart reduced arguments at 16% or made intimacy more intentional at 11%, while 18% said it reduced physical closeness.

Social pressure also played a role. One in five Americans, or 20%, said they feel pressure to maintain a “healthy” or “active” sex life due to social media. This rose to 27% among Gen Z and 21% among millennials, compared to 15% among Gen X and baby boomers.

How couples respond to emotional distance varied. Nearly half, 47%, said they talk to their partner within a few days of noticing disconnection, while 26% address it immediately. However, 12% wait weeks, and 15% avoid the conversation altogether.

Communication emerged as a key factor in relationship satisfaction. Couples who openly discussed emotional and sexual needs were nearly three times more likely to be satisfied, at 81%, compared to 30% among those who avoided these conversations. Younger generations reported higher levels of openness, with 86% of Gen Z and 79% of millennials saying they discuss emotional or sexual needs, compared to 68% of Gen X and baby boomers.

The findings suggest that while affection and commitment often remain strong, modern stressors, fatigue, and unspoken pressures are contributing to a gradual erosion of intimacy for many American couples.