Anger is a typical and shared emotion. It’s a normal and reasonable emotional response in many circumstances, whether real or imagined, although occasionally, individuals become upset just because something doesn’t go according to plan.
Anger and resentment go hand in hand. Resentments are bad feelings, basically ill will, toward someone or something that arises from the past. Reliving previous injustices, whether real or imagined, and the associated rage is known as resentment.
We must keep reminding ourselves that we are only human. We are all doing the best, and we can see even when the best is sometimes poor.
Some people carry resentments for many years, reluctant to let go of them.
How to deal with rage and bitterness healthily?
- You can take specific steps to deal with your feelings of rage and resentment in healthier and more beneficial ways.
- Practise recognising and allowing yourself to feel the underlying feelings, such as hurt or fear, that anger may be layered over. Try to accept these feelings and their vulnerability, and be present with them.
- Spend some time becoming aware of your wrath and bitterness. Watch it. Just allow it to exist. Retain it. Imagine enclosing it in space. Observe what transpires.
- Learn and put self-calming and relaxation strategies to use. Some examples are intentional breathing, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, gradual relaxation, and disconnected, quiet rest.
- Avoid the impulse to act as a conduit for other people’s rage and resentment. Others’ rage and bitterness can be alluring; they sometimes have an almost magnetic attraction. Resist the impulse to join in their negativity or partake in gossip; don’t buy into it.
- Try to practise being friendly and compassionate to those you feel resentment or anger toward, despite how challenging it may be. Observe what occurs when you alter your behaviour toward them; they will frequently change it toward you.
How do we stop anger?
- I thought before you spoke.
- Once you are calm, express your concerns.
- Exercise your body.
- Pray for the other person.
- Try not to hold a grudge.
- Use humour to relieve tension.
There are three types of anger which help shape how we react in a situation that makes us come to a boil. These are passive aggression, open aggression, and assertive anger.
What is an example of a passive aggressor?
For example, a person might comment on a topic they know makes another person uncomfortably, such as their dating life or weight. They also might use their knowledge about a person’s history to hurt them subtly.
How to deal with passive-aggressive people?
- Call out the specific behaviour in private with the person in question.
- Stay silent and show no emotion/ do not react. Silence is golden.
- Live in the present moment and return to the topic that your group were discussing.
- Remove yourself from the situation, or if they make you angry, stay away from their company.
- Do not bark back as if I’m flaming the situation.
Patrick Powell is the founder of Sobriety Holidays, Thailand. His vision and passion are affordable rehabilitation.
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