Are you intrigued by strap-on sex and tempted to give it a try? Dildos have been worn by people of all sexual persuasions since ancient Egypt, so you are not alone. Whether you’re looking to switch roles in the bedroom, unleash your dominant side, or simply crave that filled-to-the-back teeth sensation, you’ve come to the right place.
In its simplest form, a strap-on sex toy is a makeshift penis designed to be worn during sexual playtime. Traditional strap-ons are options that allow one user to penetrate a partner during sex.
Fashioned from all manner of materials over the millennia including stone, wood and even elephant tusk, you’ll be pleased to hear that 21st-century sex tech has raised the bar since the discovery of silicone. These days dildos come in every imaginable shape, size, colour and density, including vibrating, double-ended and strapless. You can now choose from leather, nylon, lace, and even discreet briefs to hold your shlong comfortably.
Here are some expert tips on how to choose the right dildo and harness for your pleasure, from double-ended jockstraps to dainty lace pegs:
Do you like strap-on sex?
Strap-ons sex toys can work wonders in any number of sexual scenarios, including power play, double penetration or switching up traditional gender roles. But misconceptions about people using them could discourage people. The truth is, strap-ons are used by anyone who has a need or is simply interested. The benefit of using a strap-on is that you are able to add an option to the bedroom no matter how you identify sexually.
Some heterosexual couples experiment with strap-on sex because they enjoy pegging – when a man is penetrated anally by a woman using a strap-on dildo. Or perhaps you’re in a lesbian or queer relationship and don’t have a penis but still enjoy the feeling of penetration. Or maybe you’re a penis-haver who struggles with erectile dysfunction but still wants to pleasure your lover. Or you might simply appreciate some additional girth, fancy exploring multiple orifices all at once, or maybe you’re just curious. No matter your sexuality, you are all welcome to the party.
Strap-on sex tips for beginners
So, now that we’ve firmly established that we are all free to try strap-on sex as and when we please, all you need to get started is a willing partner, a tube of lube and a dildo (harness optional). And once you find the glove that fits, the possibilities are endless. But to ensure everyone has a safe, consensual and sexy time, there are a few pointers worth considering before you get stuck in.
- Use a safe word. Penetrating your lover with a dildo is an extremely intimate experience, and not without risks. Establish a safe word in advance, so you both know when to back up should one of you need a breather.
- Size matters. If you’re wearing the trousers tonight, it’s respectful to check in with the owner of the orifice you intend to penetrate before you slip that giant dildo into your shopping cart. Novice might prefer to start small and slowly graduate to a King Cock. Shop together and make choosing your tool size part of the foreplay.
- Lube up. When products that we put on and in our bodies aren’t well-regulated, then there’s no way we can know that they’re totally safe. Silicone dildos can rough the skin, so use lube liberally. This is doubly important if you are practising anal sex, as that part of the body does not have any natural lubrication, so make sure you have plenty of good lube to hand.
- Practice makes perfect. Get used to how your strap-on works well in advance, so there are no awkward surprises on the night. Sometimes harnesses can be confusing to put on, and you don’t want to interrupt the flow of a good sex session by spending ages getting the thing on.
- Keep talking. If you’re wearing the strap-on, remember that you won’t be able to feel your new appendage, so resist the urge to go at it hammer and tongs. Keep the lines of communication open and let your partner dictate the speed and depth.
How much are strap-ons?
Strap-on dildos are fantastic sex toys for couples and can be used for pegging, lesbian sex or to help with erectile difficulties. The price range from £30–£100, and you can expect a range of quality and features. How much you should pay for best strap on really depends on what you’re looking for.
The best strap-on sex toys to shop now
When purchasing a strap-on, you typically need to consider both the harness and the dildo. Harnesses usually come in three main styles: jockstrap, thong, and underwear. Dildos are where things get slightly more complicated, with everything from anal to glass, double-ended, beaded, realistic and vibrating to choose from, in a range of sizes.
Shopping for your harness and dildo separately will lend itself to a more bespoke experience, but beginner kits that include both are a great place to start.
Final thoughts
If some questions connected to sex or your body, in general, seem embarrassing or awkward to you, remember that gynaecologists are here to help you and let you learn more about your body, not to judge or condemn you. Your job here is to make sure that your actions, whether it be sex or eating habits, or whatever you have doubts about, will not harm your baby and yourself.
David Tobin did his degree in psychology at the University of Hertfordshire. He is interested in mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.
