I’ve been on Twitter for around a month, but it feels a lot longer! It takes time to engage with others but it’s worth it. I love seeing such amazing writers. How they think, how they write day-to-day.
You get the feeling of writing a book is one of the hardest things you could attempt. I used to write poetry like a sport in my teens and early twenties but the inspiration slowed down after a few years. I would still write occasionally, but only when the inspiration arose.
During the lockdown, I’ve had the time to go over all my work and prepare it for social media. I changed old poems and made them better with the things I’ve learned.
Seeing how naive I was has been amusing! It’s daunting releasing my poetry, opening up my soul to criticism and the unknown. This has given me new inspiration and I’ve begun writing again. My old poems seemed to centre around teenage crushes and the thrill of the chase. Particularly one girl who drove me mad but it helped the words flow.
I’m now in my thirties, engaged with a one-year-old son. I would like to write more, but my son comes first so I wouldn’t like to say life gets in the way.
My writing naturally moves on to more meaningful subjects. I still write about relationships but also about many other things.
My mental health took a nosedive a few years ago. Things weren’t right at work, I lost focus on my relationship and I struggled with life. I kept my feelings locked up, something I now regret.
My partner had no idea I was experiencing such dark thoughts, but then why would she? I kept telling myself I could fight it myself. I tried numerous things, including talking to strangers. I even visited a priest in a neighbouring town. I confided to a friend who had experienced similar health problems.
Over time, she taught me to love myself and brought me out from those dark clouds. I needed to concentrate on preparing to become a dad and this helped. She also demanded I tell my partner. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
It took me a week to pick up the courage but it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. She was incredibly understanding and supports me to this day. I do limit the number of people I tell so this is all new to me! I still have low points, days where I feel my mental health slips. But overall I’m a lot happier within myself. Seeing my son’s face in the morning gives me all that I need.
Nobody should ever fight those feelings alone. Sit down and talk with your loved ones, mental health matters.
Martin Dix writes poems to spread mental health awareness.