Why do some people manage to hurt people without having even a single glitch of conscience?
We, humans, are given a gift of empathy. A special trait that we can manage place ourselves in the situation of others and make ourselves realise what to feel if we are in the same situation as them. It is achieved when we see with the eyes, listen with the ears, and feel with the heart. But sadly, as this trait is given as a gift, not everyone seems to have it.
Having empathy with others can make daily interactions go further effortlessly and deepen interpersonal relations, whether personal or professional. It empowers us to effectively plan our emotional reactions to benefit ourselves and the individuals around us. Empathy is one of the most critical viewpoints of making solid connections, diminishing stress, improving passionate mindfulness – however it can be dubious at times.
On the other hand, if empathy has such a tremendous effect, why do some people appear to avoid it? It is uncommon for someone to be completely incapable of empathy. We may all have associated with some individuals who seem to need empathy at some point in our lives.
There are some clues to know if we are dealing with someone who lacks empathy. Here are follows:
Consistent of giving feedback
They are quick into criticising others without putting themselves in other people’s shoes.
They never apologise or admit that they are wrong
They accept that the blame is within the individual accepting the harm since they responded ineffectively, were inconsiderate, or were oversensitive; also, they completely believed that they are 100% righteous of their possess thoughts and convictions and judge somebody does not hold the same conviction as them.
Destitute emotional control
It is hard for them to be for others as well; it is expected that they do not have friends and cannot have a good family relationship for they do not know how to relate to others; as a result, they often have an insensitive attitude towards other.
To some degree, encountering and feeling empathy implies that we need to get in touch with our feelings. Why do some end up not having empathy?
The root of not having empathy is our fear. Being unable to face and conquer our fears lead us to be unemphatic with others.
Avoidance of feeling – modelling from family
Being raised within a family who avoided and neglected their feelings will eventually have a child who knows how to shut down their feelings – they will certainly not learn to relate with others’ feelings.
Identity and developmental disorder
It is understandable that if someone has these disorders, they may suffer a lack of empathy. These are Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Machiavellianism, Sociopath or antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD), alexithymia, and autism.
A few talks about whether an individual is born with low empathy or on the off chance that childhood, social variables, or life encounters may ruin someone’s capacity to create it – hereditary qualities may play a role.
On a positive note, empathy can be developed. You may start by asking others about how or what they are feeling and learn to observe body language; it is also an excellent start to learn important things for people around you.
Acknowledging your feelings will help you connect with their others. By following these simple steps, little by little, you learn how to empathise with others. Empathy can be developed, and it will all start with awareness, but not everyone chooses to do it, so let us all learn to acknowledge our feelings and validate other people’s feelings.
Dina Relojo is the social media manager of Psychreg. She is a teacher from the Philippines.