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The Psychology of Kindness

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They say when you have to choose between ‘right’ and ‘kindness’, always choose kindness. Ever since the arrival of positive psychology, people have started doing more random acts of kindness on whim and purpose.

As we all are biological machines, chemicals, like neurotransmitters or hormones are responsible for everything we do, physically or mentally. When we are kind to someone we feel better only because the love hormone oxytocin is released. This is the same hormone released while breastfeeding, and when we are intimate. The oxytocin releases a chemical nitric oxide that dilates the blood vessels, thus reducing the blood pressure. That is why oxytocin is also known as the ‘cardioprotective’ hormone.

One might have heard the word empaths. These are people who are born with immense innate kindness. They will always eager to help. They look at the situation from the victim’s viewpoint. They will always be forgiving and mostly are helpful.

Speaking of kindness, there are different varieties of it:


When someone is kind to oneself. It starts with positive self-talk. You have a better image of yourself and stay positive about your self-image. You forgave yourself while doing mistakes, and it gives you the realisation that how to fix the mistakes or when to walk out of the situation.

Kindness in relationships

We are social animals so it means without having relationships we cannot survive or thrive.  Kindness affects all kinds of relationships, from motherly love to sweethearts and best friends. Kindness will allow forgiving the little mistakes your kids, spouse, and friends are making. It gave the chance to the other person to learn and try to fix the mistakes rather than behave in an egotistical manner. 

Kindness in the communities

The communities that are open to change are mostly kind. They tend to be more progressive and open-minded to new ideas. They will find solutions to problems quickly. Their teamwork and efficiency will be greater as to the communities who are unkind.

Kindness among teachers

The teachers who are kind and more understanding in their approach, their students will take more interest in their lessons regardless of the student’s interest. The students who are coming from less privileged communities or broken families respond to the teacher’s kindness just like butterflies to the flowers. The teachers eventually become the envy of their peers, and the only thing that was within them was kindness and understanding the problems of the students rather than focusing that how lost they look.

Kindness among peers

The kids who are kind towards their peers will come out as wonderful human beings. Their self-esteem will be more and they have a higher positive self-image. The empathy in them makes their lives better as they grow. They will stand out, in their relationships, friendships, and keeping promises. The kindness in them made them better prepare for the challenges of their lives. They will never bully, but rather try to confront if they can. They will never take advantage of the other’s situation because they are learning through kindness in their lives. In little means, they will be happier and satisfied and can understand the problems of others better than others.

Kind parents

The kind parents will try to support their kids or kid as much as possible or sometimes beyond their means that can be not just monetary. The kids raised by kind parents have a higher understanding of the world around them, even realizing the difficulties the parents face rearing them. Kind parents will overlook the weakness their kids have and appreciate the abilities. Their kindness will bring cosiness in the kids’ lives and the kids amazingly stay away from bullying others or being bullied, and in some situation can stand to the bullies despite the consequences.

Kindness at the job

The people, who are motivated by kindness rather than competition may not be outstanding, but bring balance to the environment. If the boss is kind they will bring more understanding in creating a wonderful workplace. If the coworkers are kind and polite they will bring positive energy to the workforce. 

Kindness at the roads

Kindness motivates you to be more forgiving at the other drivers’ mistakes, of course, that is not life-threatening. The kindness makes you maybe not the best driver but a harmonious one. You will wait patiently like others in your car in traffic jams. The kindness in you makes you help while you noticed a new diver couldn’t park their cars or vice versa.

Kindness in you makes not just you glitter but the place where you are residing. What kindness does to us anyways? Why it is important to be kind and gentle to others than confronting and impolite. Well, science is in favour of kind people. The research is showing us that the more we do random acts of kindness, our stress level decreased and our immune system gets stronger.

Final words

Kindness can do wonders for our health and the community we are living in. It helps strengthen the bonds and builds bridges between people. Kindness makes us stronger and happier. One feels at ease while helping others. Their anger level drops; they start looking at the world through the eyes of a stranger. 

Be kind. Start with yourself, and be kind to others because Kindness brings the best in you.

Sara James is the founder of Vivid n Stylish.

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