Some 425,680 students will be heading off to universities across the UK this September, transitioning into a new routine, adapting to a new city, and moving in with strangers for the first time. For many, this experience can bring a mix of excitement and anxiety.

With this in mind, Mystudenthalls spoke to psychologists Dr Lea McMahon, LCP, chief clinical officer at Symetria Recovery, and Jordan Calabrese, medical director at Sana Lake Recovery for their top tips to help students navigate the transition of moving away from home, as well as gain insight into the emotional and mental challenges that come with it.

Common challenges students face when moving in with strangers 

Dr Lea McMahon explained that students face a range of psychological challenges when moving away from home, often stemming from the loss of financial and emotional support, along with the absence of a familiar community. “We build our identity from these main parts of our lives. They aren’t designed to change abruptly, but that’s what happens when students move away from home. When the background of our identity is changed overnight, it can cause stress, anxiety, and depression.”

Jordan Calabrese agreed and added, “New faces, new places, and new routines can send some students spiralling with their mental health. We all build routines when we are living at home with our family, but this new shift can throw routines off and require more flexibility in a new space.

“Living with strangers may make some feel lonelier and more isolated than before. Unfortunately, this transition period can be hard for many people, especially as they start to feel homesick and long for the routine they used to have.”

Dr Lea mentioned that it’s important to remember your new flatmates are in the same boat “It’s important to remember that the stranger is a human too, going through the same nerve-wracking process. Hopefully, they will become a friend or good support throughout this transition.”

How personality type can influence the experience of living with strangers?

According to the experts, personality type can significantly influence the experience of living with strangers. Dr. Lea said, “Simply put, some people are better at branching out and making friends. If this doesn’t sound like you, then you may struggle with the experience of living with a stranger. If you’re more introverted, it may take more time and practice to build relationships with new people.”

Jordan added, “If someone is an extrovert, they’re likely able to make friends more easily and may enjoy living with new people. If someone is more shy or anxious around new people, making friends and bonding with new roommates may be more challenging.

“Those with introverted personalities may have a harder time connecting with roommates and potential friends around them but strive to find common ground where possible. For someone who is introverted, natural conversation and connection may be more challenging but try to plan time to interact with new housemates and engage in organised activities to get to know one another, while also actively giving yourself time and space to recharge your social batteries when needed.”

What “red flags” should you watch out for when living with strangers for the first time?

Dr Lea explains “As a professional counsellor, I can say that there are many red flags to look out for when living with a roommate for the first time. How they communicate, live, and cope will influence how you do as well.

“Having a roommate who doesn’t communicate effectively, drinks alcohol, does drugs, and doesn’t contribute to a healthy way of living in your apartment or dorm, can negatively impact your life and university experience.

“If at any point you feel unsafe in your dorm or apartment, you may need to touch base with your university housing department and see if you can relocate to a healthier and more productive space.”

Also, watch out for singling out of any one flatmate in case they are being subject to bullying and don’t stand for this. Dr Lea advises, “These stories unfortunately do happen too often, and they can negatively affect someone’s university experience. The impact of bullying can present themselves in uni work and decline in personal care or change in habits, with many students struggling during key University periods as a result.”

“It may also impact their ability to make friends. Once trust is broken between roommates, it may be harder to branch out and trust others, which is why every university should have no tolerance for bullying, especially between roommates. “

What advice would you give to students who are anxious about moving in with strangers?

Dr Lea’s advice is to “have empathy and sympathy for those going through the same situation. You’ll be surprised by how much you can bond with someone going through the same situation as yourself. You may find your new best friend in your roommate. Giving them and yourself some grace to navigate this new situation will benefit everyone.”

Jordan echoed this “If you’re nervous about moving in with strangers, don’t worry, it’s a completely natural feeling. You’re not alone – most people who have gone to university have felt the same way. There are many new students feeling the same. The key to successfully adapting and thriving in your new environment is to share and maintain boundaries and be sure to have a sounding board composed of friends and family to ensure you have a support network during this time.”

Building new relationships at university  

Building new relationships at university can be an important part of the overall experience, as well as providing students with a support network close by.

Jordan said, “University is the time to explore your interests. There are a host of classes, societies, activities, and groups you can join to build a new support network. There’s a club for just about everything. Astronomy, chess, birdwatching – the list is endless, so don’t be disheartened if you don’t find your tribe straight away.”

It’s important to balance the need for social interaction with the desire for personal time. “There is a healthy balance between social interaction and personal time. A student can create a schedule for themselves that incorporates social interaction and some “me-time”. For example, the daytime may be a great time to socialize with others by going to class and joining a club. The evening may be a good time for some relaxation, studying, and personal time

How to make the first few months with new flatmates go smoothly?

Moving in with strangers can be an exciting yet challenging experience. To help the first few months go smoothly, Dan Roberts, director at Mystudenthalls, has provided his top tips:

Set boundaries early on

• Communicate openly and respectfully from the start. Consider setting up a WhatsApp group to stay in contact. During your first meal or drinks together, discuss cleaning schedules, noise levels, guest policies, and how you’ll share communal spaces.
• Address issues calmly and respectfully to avoid resentment, depending on personality types, this won’t always be easy, but try to take a rational approach rather than fostering resentment.

Get to know your flatmates 

• Those first few weeks are key for building connections and rapport with your flatmates. Plan flat movie nights or outings into the city or surrounding area. Understanding each other’s habits early on will help prevent conflicts later down the line.
• You might even meet lifelong friends – many do!Living with strangers means meeting different habits, lifestyles, and personalities. Try to be patient and flexible as you all adjust to living together.

Be mindful and self-aware

• Respect personal space and privacy. Avoid entering rooms without permission and be considerate in shared spaces – understand that everyone needs alone time.
• Clean up after yourself and keep your belongings in your designated areas – this will go a long way in avoiding disagreements.
• Try to go into the situation aware of how you communicate and what type of person you are. For example, if you’re messy, communicate that and make a conscious effort to do better in communal areas – it’s a straightforward way to show respect for your roommates.

Have a backup plan 

Worst-case scenario, if things don’t work out despite your best efforts, have a backup plan in place, such as knowing your options for finding a new place to live.

Dan also added: “Moving in with strangers can be an amazing experience if you approach it with openness, communication, and respect – you can make friends for life but it can be a real test for some people.

“Take time to adjust to your new surroundings and enjoy the newfound independence that living at university brings!”