December brings festive gatherings, Christmas parties, and increased time with family and loved ones. These heightened social demands can leave many feeling drained, with their social battery running low.

A recent survey by stairlift and home lift company Stannah found:

• Almost half of people (41%) spend more time with family at Christmas than during the rest of the year.
• Over one third (35%) plan to retreat to their bedroom during the holidays to get away from family, highlighting a need for quiet moments amid celebrations.

What is Parallel Play?

Anjula Mutanda, TV expert, resident psychologist at Stannah, and relationship therapist, suggests adopting parallel play as a way to preserve energy while still enjoying family connections.

She explains: “Parallel play is a term coined to describe sharing a social space with others whilst doing separate activities, without the expectation to directly interact with one another yet still fostering connection. Humans require social connection, but connection doesn’t always require communication. Being in the presence of others is often enough.”

Traditionally linked to child development, parallel play involves engaging in individual activities alongside others, allowing social connection without constant interaction.

Benefits during the holidays

This approach is especially useful when households fill up with relatives of varying ages and personalities. Anjula adds: “Engaging in your preferred ‘me-time’ activities such as reading, watching TV, or hobbies like knitting alongside your loved ones can be really beneficial for your relationships, as well as your well-being and mental health. Parallel play takes the pressure off trying to entertain the whole family, who themselves may want relaxed downtime after lots of socialising.”

Practical advice for families

The family psychotherapist offers tips for introducing parallel play sensitively:

• Suggest it in small, direct ways without it coming across as rejection. For example, if others are watching a movie you don’t enjoy, put in your earbuds and listen to an audiobook or music.
• Take quiet time upstairs if needed to respect personal boundaries.
• Recognise that multi-generational gatherings often mean differing preferences, making parallel play particularly useful.

Anjula concludes: “Parallel play lets you maintain your energy levels and still enjoy meaningful moments with loved ones, which is exactly what the Christmas season is all about.”

Growing recognition

Parallel play in adults has gained attention in recent years, particularly among introverts and neurodivergent individuals who find extended social interaction exhausting. Experts note it allows companionship without the demands of ongoing conversation, promoting relaxation and stronger bonds through shared presence rather than active engagement.

By embracing quieter shared moments, families can navigate the festive period with greater harmony and reduced stress.