When bills eat up every paycheck and the weeks are moving too fast to keep up with, life can seem to leave little room to find one’s purpose for existence. Fortunately, life reveals special treasures to those who seek a deeper meaning. Maryanne Comaroto, a psychologist with a PhD, encourages individuals to “pause and ask yourself that very question, ‘Where am I? What am I doing and why?’”
“The first thing that comes forward for most of us is that what we’re doing is usually motivated by a wound. I’ll explain that. Who I am being today, my false self, who I’m not, is being or doing something as a result of something I learned as a kid. ‘I want to be a doctor when I grow up. My mother wants me to be this. My father wants me to be that. If I’m in real estate, I’ll make a lot of money.’ The choices we make are typically coming out of a survival mode, which is not who we are,” said Comaroto.
Someone constantly in survival mode might write off pursuing the journey to find their life’s purpose due to many factors, from finances to family pressure. The beautiful fact Comaroto surfaces is that humans making life decisions based on survival instincts can learn about who they are when their brain is out of such a stressful state.
According to Maryanne Comaroto, thirty million people suffer from an anxiety disorder. Depression also affects another thirty million people. As someone who has worked with people for more than 20 years and has personally been affected by anxiety, Comaroto says that these statistics directly link people not taking the time to understand who they are and what they are doing here on this planet.
“We all want to make a contribution. Most of us don’t get beyond survival, so we go back to spinning the story of who our parents want us to be or who we feel we have to be in order to survive. So, for most people, this feels like a luxury, inquiring about life’s purpose, but it’s critical. It’ll make the difference between getting out of bed because you have to, versus because you want to,” states Comaroto.
Recognising one’s life purpose is considered a multi-part journey and a process of self-growth and expansion. An individual completes only the first part of the journey when finding out who they are; thereafter, the next step involves finding out the ‘why’ behind being here. During this part of the journey, people can better answer their ‘why’ by identifying their unique gifts and talents. Comaroto suggests going in the direction of things that are already attractive to a person. For example, if a person finds themselves always drawn to help others, they can identify being service-oriented as a part of their purpose.
“These are the ways you’ll know: You’ll feel complete. It’ll feel like ‘yes.’ You’ll feel satiated. Your contribution feels whole. You feel good about who you are. There isn’t residue. There isn’t the fatigue of feeling drained, of giving too much. It’s your pleasure to do this thing,” Comaroto concludes.
Relationship specialist and psychologist Maryanne Comaroto, PhD, leads individuals to better self-understanding and healthier, more fulfilling relationships. The award-winning author of Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers!, Maryanne is also a clinical hypnotherapist, certified Vedanta meditation teacher, speaker, and popular media personality. She is the founder of the nonprofit the Queen of the Jungle Foundation.