Home Family & Relationship The Politics of Cunnilingus: Addressing the Oral Sex Disparity

The Politics of Cunnilingus: Addressing the Oral Sex Disparity

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Sexual fetishes vary greatly from person to person; for example, different people have different attitudes towards cunnilingus. There may be some people who really enjoy licking their partner’s cunt, while others really hate the act. So if you want to try cunnilingus, make sure that you have communicated fully with your partner before you start and that you have obtained their explicit consent.

As society becomes more sexually open, more and more people are embracing more sexual styles or different sexual fetishes, and cunnilingus is one of them. In heterosexual relationships, however, there is a significant difference in the percentage of men and women who give each other oral sex, with heterosexual women performing oral sex on their partners more than twice as often compared to heterosexual men.

This discrepancy highlights some of the problems that exist in heterosexual relationships, and I’m going to take you through the differences between men and women when it comes to oral sex and teach you some of the ways to work around this discrepancy. If you want to learn more sex tips, feel free to check out the inyarose website.

Why men are generally reluctant to give oral sex to women?

Why are young men often reluctant or uncomfortable giving oral sex to women? This question has been addressed by numerous sexologists, and many young women experience a similar problem, becoming frustrated with their male partner’s unwillingness to explore their body, and even wondering if it’s a lack of attractiveness on their part.

Understandably, not everyone enjoys and enjoys cunnilingus, and it is important to respect each other’s preferences and opinions in intimate relationships. But the idea that some men are reluctant to perform oral sex on women because they believe that women’s bodies are disgusting or unworthy of pleasure, and therefore refuse to perform oral sex on their partners, is a very wrong and old-fashioned way of thinking.

These wrong stereotypes have resulted in many couples not being able to achieve sexual fulfillment and good sexual pleasure, and more importantly, everyone needs to appreciate each other’s bodies and explore and get to know each other through sexual contact, regardless of gender.

Challenging the aversion to cunnilingus

Addressing the aversion to cunnilingus is crucial because the vast majority of men who hate cunnilingus are actually influenced by misogynistic ideas. Those men who refuse to perform oral sex on women often think it’s disgusting or undignified. Or they lack a basic understanding of how female orgasms work and believe that the only way to satisfy each other is through vaginal intercourse.

Oral sex is popular because of the intimacy of the act, which allows the partner to be fully involved and have complete control over the other’s orgasm. While not all women enjoy oral sex, many partners should remain willing to have cunnilingus for better mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

Some men are reluctant to perform oral sex because they feel inferior during oral sex, as this activity tends to make them feel like they are losing their dominance, so it is necessary to realise that oral sex can also be dominant and in control of your partner’s pleasure.

If men adamantly refuse cunnilingus because of misguided misogyny, then they will continue to reinforce the idea that women’s bodies exist only to satisfy them, which will cause them to disregard their partner’s pleasure and prioritize their own. Not only does this attitude make women feel unsure and ashamed of their bodies, but it also undermines their self-confidence.

For many women, receiving oral sex takes on a very special emotional significance, as society and culture may lead them to feel inferior about their genitals or to be unhappy with their appearance and thus try to have surgery to change it, but this is completely unnecessary, as every woman is naturally beautiful.

Therefore, women should maintain a good level of confidence in their bodies, knowing that they deserve to be happy as well as respected, and that anyone who shames or loathes their natural physiology doesn’t deserve their bodies.

Step up and eat some pussy

A significant lack of comprehensive sex education often leads individuals to rely on mainstream pornography for information, much of which is catered to the male gaze and lacks representation of reciprocal oral sex. Consequently, in heterosexual porn, the act of cunnilingus is seldom depicted. While blowjobs are commonly portrayed, the expectation for women to receive oral sex in return is often absent.

The female orgasm remains a complex and frequently misunderstood topic, often overlooked or trivialized in both popular culture and medical discourse. Given that many women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, penetration alone is often insufficient. Therefore, by neglecting to perform cunnilingus, men are essentially diminishing their partner’s likelihood of reaching orgasm, a behavior that expert attributes to selfishness or laziness.

While acknowledging that cunnilingus can vary significantly from one woman to another, it’s important for men to recognize the effort required to provide pleasurable oral sex. Just as individuals are willing to accommodate various challenges during oral sex, such as controlling gag reflexes or avoiding teeth, men should extend the same courtesy by engaging in cunnilingus. Or if you’re reluctant to try the act of oral sex but don’t want to disappoint your partner, I suggest you try the inya rose toy, a powerful clitoral sucking toy that gives your partner the enjoyment of real-life oral sex.

Concerns about bodily fluids should not overshadow the importance of mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Just as women continue to perform fellatio despite the potential mess, men should prioritize their partner’s pleasure and not allow such concerns to deter them from performing cunnilingus. Ultimately, mutual respect and consideration for each other’s pleasure should guide sexual encounters.

Maintain sincere communication

The aversion to performing cunnilingus often stems from the misconception that vulvas are inherently unappealing and that female pleasure is of lesser importance. However, perpetuating such negative attitudes towards sexual behavior ultimately serves no one. The deeply entrenched belief that women exist solely for the sexual gratification of men continues to contribute to the taboo surrounding cunnilingus.

While it’s crucial to respect your partner’s boundaries, it’s equally important not to coddle men at the expense of everyone’s sexual fulfillment. Similar to the principle of not faking orgasms, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly about your sexual needs and desires. Cunnilingus should only be a deal-breaker if it’s a vital component of your sexual satisfaction. But if you’re indifferent to it, that’s perfectly acceptable, and there are numerous other ways to explore pleasure together.

You have every right to expect sexual satisfaction, and if receiving oral sex is important to you, your partner should prioritise meeting your needs and desires. Open communication and mutual respect are key to fostering a fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.




Samantha Green, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.

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