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Overcoming Trauma: My Path to Recovery After Losing My Best Friend

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It’s been a while since I’ve talked openly about my private life, but I feel like now is the right time. The account of how I lost my best friend and spent years dealing with trauma. By sharing my experience, I hope to be able to support those who might be going through a similar situation.
We were inseparable, me and my best pal. We attended the same school, played together, and grew up together. We shared everything, including our secrets and toys. We would talk about our goals and dreams for hours. He was the only one who truly understood me, and I felt the same way about him.

We shared so many pleasant experiences. I recall a camping trip where we spent the entire night telling ghost stories. Video games were another pastime for us, Mario Kart in particular. We would compete to see who could complete the course first. We even developed a unique handshake that we used each time we saw one another.

But then, on a fateful day, everything changed. We were both worn out after a basketball game as we made our way home. We stopped at a red light while travelling down the road. We were laughing and chatting away about something silly. I heard a screeching sound out of the corner of my eye, and then a car crashed into us from behind.

My car began to spin out of control as a result of the loud noise. I can still recall feeling frozen and unable to talk, like I was in a dream. I looked at my friend when the car eventually stopped for a moment and immediately sensed that something was wrong. Blood was all over, and he wasn’t moving.

I yelled for help, but it took what seemed like a lifetime for the ambulance to show up. I tried to soothe my friend by holding his hand, but it was too late. He died in front of me, and I felt like my world had come crashing down. The moment of the accident was the most traumatic experience of my life. It felt like everything had happened in slow motion, and yet it was over in seconds. The memory of my friend’s lifeless body still haunts me to this day.

After the accident, I was consumed with guilt and regret. I kept replaying the moment over and over in my head, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently. Maybe if I had driven slower or taken a different route, my friend would still be alive. I started to have nightmares about the accident. Every time I saw a car or even heard its voice I would feel cold and start to panic.

It was a challenging moment for me, but I was aware that I had to get past my trauma. I didn’t want to be afraid for the rest of my life. I, therefore, began therapy sessions. Talking about what had occurred was challenging at first. I didn’t want to relive the suffering. Yet as time went on, I saw that the only way to proceed was to express my emotions.

With the aid of my therapist, I was able to realise that the accident wasn’t my fault. Simply put, a sad tragedy occurred. She also gave me coping skills for overcoming my anxiety about driving. When I saw a car, I discovered how to calm down, concentrate on my breathing, and divert my attention.

Though it wasn’t simple, I eventually began to recover from my trauma. While it was first unsettling for me to start driving again, I gradually began to feel more at ease. I even began to perceive cars not as a reminder of my friend’s death but as just another means of movement.

Looking back, I see that the accident had a positive influence on me. We never know when our lives will expire because they are so fragile. The time we spend with our loved ones should be cherished, and we should never take it for granted. I lost a friend too soon, but I will always value the times we spent together.

I learned from my own life experience that trauma might be challenging to get over, but it’s not impossible. It necessitates perseverance, time, and the ideal support network. It’s okay to ask for assistance and to express your feelings to someone. We can never predict what will happen because life is so unpredictable. But we may learn to live with them and overcome them by facing our fears head-on.

Ayesha Muqadas is a digital marketing analyst at Sehatghar.

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