We, the humans, known as the most powerful creatures, are afraid of many things. Fear lies within us from the day we are born to the day we take our last breath. We fear demons, animals, ghosts, enemies, and natural calamities.  We can fight all these outer fears or we can run away, but what about the fear living inside our head, heart, and soul? The burden of self-doubt and the fear of missing out.

I remember that phase of my life when I was addicted to social media. I saw the travel diaries of people, the achievements and party updates, and often did the worst thing: “comparison”.  And this is what we all do. We think, compare, and then overthink, but never enjoy. The feeling when you compare your life to others and feel that you are missing out a lot in life is FOMO. It is a complex interplay of negative emotions like self-doubt, suppressed desires, and loneliness. Health conditions like anxiety and depression can also result in FOMO.

Many people don’t take FOMO as a real problem or a concerning issue, including those who often experience this fear of missing out. However, the fear of missing out suppresses our ability to enjoy ourselves. It makes people feel like they are not worthy of happy moments. I remember that while struggling with my ‘FOMO’ zone, I neglected the little joys around me. I often forgot about my favourite cookies in the kitchen, I became deaf to the melodious chirping of birds, I missed the time of my favourite show, I didn’t realise when it rained; I missed the mesmerising rainbow, and I even lost the zeal to work hard and focus on my passion. My only concern was “What are others doing?”.

Besides snatching self-confidence, FOMO can affect your mental and physical health as well. FOMO accelerates anxiety issues and causes nausea, headaches, and an increased heart rate. The reasons behind this fear – insecurities, overthinking, lack of self-esteem, habit of comparison, and unwillingness to accept reality – are known to most people. But the solutions still haven’t reached all those struggling with this inner challenge. Here, I have listed the things that helped me deal with it and I am sure you too can cope with FOMO:

• Acknowledge what is going on inside your mind. The journey of healing always starts with acceptance. You have to accept the insecurities and self-doubt that are bothering you if you want to overcome these emotions. Instead of being delusional and saying, “If nobody is perfect, I am nobody”, be realistic and say, “I am not perfect and my imperfections make me human.”
• Set a limit on social media use. According to a 2022 study, if you are struggling with depression and anxiety, social media can increase the symptoms and worsen the condition. Spending too much time on social media detaches you from real life and real connections. In addition to setting a limit on social media usage, ensure you don’t follow accounts that promote a superficial lifestyle and sell unrealistic dreams.
• Cherish the life you have. Start observing the happiness around you and embrace your hobbies. If you like to paint, pick up a brush, if you want to read, get your anticipated read, and if you love gardening, start growing green friends. This will not only divert your attention from negative thoughts but also introduce you to the goodness of life and help you regain your confidence.
• Work on your skills and passion. If some unmet desires or professional failures are feeding on your mind and soul, write them down. After noting down your aspirations, research the ways you can achieve your goals. Plan a routine and a layout to strengthen your skills. Focus on your passion, accept the failures in between, acknowledge the cause of failure and bounce back again.
• Exercise and seek medical help. Regular exercise is an effective and proven strategy to cope with depression and anxiety. Build a routine of light to vigorous exercises depending on your health and age and follow this routine without fail. Breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, morning walks, volunteering, and maintaining a gratitude journal also help overcome internal conflicts and stress. In addition, seek psychiatric help if you are unable to understand your emotions and need better guidance to deal with them.

Like every problem has a solution, you can get rid of FOMO too. Accept the ups and downs of life, learn from your flaws, cherish little moments, stay away from the toxicity that pushes you into the web of self-doubt, appreciate others and acknowledge goodness, have faith in yourself and have patience. If we suppress the fear that suppresses our identity, then the fear, which we consider immortal, will die. 

Rita Rana is a freelance writer. She has contributed verses to three anthologies: Together Behind Four Walls, Once Upon a Time, and Stardust. You can read her poems at Delhi Poetry Slam, Fuzia World, and Notion Press.