Quick summary: A Cebu based study of middle aged gay men reveals that, without children or a partner to rely on in old age, they are building their own systems of financial, social and psychological support through savings, community goodwill and mentoring younger generations. This matters because it exposes a serious gap in how ageing is planned for in the Philippines, where policy and family expectations still assume every older person has children to care for them. The findings point to a clear need for mental health professionals and policymakers to design support systems, from healthcare to eldercare policy, that do not leave childless and LGBTQ+ Filipinos to improvise their security alone.
Growing older without children or a long-term partner to lean on is a daunting prospect for many, but for middle-aged gay men in the Philippines it comes with a particular kind of uncertainty. A new study from Cebu City suggests that this group is quietly building their own patchwork systems of financial, social and emotional support, often from scratch and without any guarantee that it will be enough.
The research, published in the Journal of Homosexuality, was carried out by Joselito Banono Jr., PhD, associate professor at Cebu Institute of Technology University. He interviewed 12 gay men aged between 35 and 50, exploring how they think and feel about growing old in a society where eldercare has traditionally been the job of one’s own children.
In the Philippines, adult children are culturally expected to look after their ageing parents, a duty rooted in the concept of utang na loob, or debt of gratitude. Because this system assumes a heterosexual family structure with biological children, it effectively leaves out men who are single and childless, however loving or capable they might be of caring for others.
Explaining what drew him to the topic, Banono said: “I kept noticing that our models of successful ageing quietly assume something many of my participants simply don’t have: children, a spouse, an estate to pass on. So I wanted to understand, in their own words, how middle aged gay men in Cebu make sense of a future the culture never wrote a script for.”
Banono’s analysis identified a central theme he called improvising survival without guarantees. Rather than following an established path towards a secure old age, participants described constantly adapting and problem solving, drawing on Filipino traits such as diskarte, a kind of resourceful creativity, to cobble together their own version of security. As Banono put it, “My participants weren’t waiting passively; they were improvising.”
This improvisation took several forms. Some men built financial safety nets through savings, insurance or investing in nieces and nephews, while others focused on staying physically fit for as long as possible, aware that serious illness could be financially devastating without family support. Many spoke of forming close bonds with younger relatives or friends in the hope that these relationships might one day translate into practical care.
Socially, participants often worked hard to earn the respect of their wider community, recognising that goodwill built over decades might matter enormously if they ever needed help. Some had adjusted how they presented themselves, favouring a more traditionally masculine image partly as a way of securing acceptance. Others focused on mentoring younger gay men, seeing this as a form of legacy that could substitute for having children of their own.
Psychologically, many participants had made peace with the idea of ageing without a romantic partner, describing a kind of bittersweet contentment. Strikingly, several said they hoped not to live much beyond sixty or sixty five, not out of despair but as a pragmatic way of avoiding a prolonged and unsupported old age. Faith also played an important role, with many describing God as a steady source of strength when human support felt uncertain.
The findings challenge Western models of successful ageing, which tend to assume access to institutional care or stable partnerships. Banono argues that policymakers and mental health professionals need to recognise that material, social and psychological needs are deeply intertwined for this group, and that support systems should not assume every older person has children to rely on.
Looking ahead, Banono said the grounded theory work is only the first stage: “The grounded theory gave us the concepts; the next step is measurement. I’m developing a self-report scale to quantify these improvisational strategies so they can be studied at scale, how they relate to wellbeing, and whether they hold for lesbian, bisexual and transgender Filipinos and for older cohorts beyond Cebu. Longer term, I want this to inform inclusive ageing and eldercare policy that doesn’t quietly leave childless and LGBTQ+ elders out of the picture.”
