A new community interest company, Seen & Heard, has been established to address the unique emotional and psychological challenges faced by current and former pupils of boarding and independent day schools, as well as their families. Founded in early 2024 by three individuals with lived experience of these educational settings, the organisation provides advocacy and support for this often-overlooked group.

Despite the perception of privilege associated with private education, many who attend these schools grapple with lasting effects from their formative years. Experiences of neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and feelings of abandonment are not uncommon. These adverse experiences can lead to issues such as mental health struggles, addiction, relationship difficulties, and even self-harm or suicide later in life.

Chris Braitch, Seen & Heard founding director, explains: “The majority of ex-pupils will never look at their childhood experiences or what happened to them at school. They either bury it, distance themselves and never look back, or the dissociation is so absolute that they will tell you, ‘It was the making of me and the best years of my life.’”

To address these challenges, Seen & Heard operates through three key areas:

• Online well-being support. The organisation provides a range of resources on its website, including self-help materials, learning tools, and a directory of therapists experienced in supporting former pupils. Free online connection groups are also available, offering a safe space to share experiences and foster mutual support.
• Institutional outreach. Seen & Heard engages with schools and governing bodies to promote improved welfare and safeguarding measures for current students. They aim to raise awareness of the unique challenges associated with these educational environments.
• Campaigning and lobbying. The organisation is actively working to influence legislation, policies, and codes of conduct to better protect individuals who have attended these schools.

Braitch notes how formative experiences in these institutions can have a lasting impact on leadership styles: “To survive an institutional upbringing, a young person must shut down parts of themselves to stay emotionally and physically safe. This is the same in the state care system as it is in the boarding system. The difference is that those in the boarding system are led to believe they are extremely privileged and fortunate to have been sent away, and therefore any anger, fear, and sadness they feel is shameful and wrong.”

This conditioning often extends into adulthood, affecting societal leadership. “We can see in society how the ‘stiff upper lip’ created within the British boarding and independent school sector manifests itself. Many leaders in business, politics, and institutions come through this system, often still wearing the survival personality they built at school,” says Braitch. “These individuals operate without a full emotional range, creating what psychotherapist and author Nick Duffell describes as ‘wounded leaders.’”

In October 2024, Seen & Heard launched a Funding Support Programme to help individuals access mental health services amidst growing NHS waiting lists. They also collaborate with legal experts to support those seeking justice for past abuses. Additionally, workshops and events focused on healing and understanding the impact of boarding school experiences are central to their mission.

Braitch reflects on the organisation’s purpose: “We started Seen & Heard because we believe where your wound lays is also where your gold is. We want to use our experiences in these institutions to raise awareness and to support past and present pupils and their families. It’s part of our healing journey as individuals, to be seen and heard, and to give a voice to others who are suffering.”

Seen & Heard are looking to connect with people that need support or with mental health professionals who may want to work with past and present pupils. They are also in need of funding, connections, and raising awareness through media and sharing. Chris can be reached by email at chris@seenheard.org.uk.