A new TENA survey reveals older millennials in the US are the most self-critical and judgmental generation, particularly over everyday human experiences like anxiety and personal hygiene. The nationwide study of 1,000 American adults aged 16 and over, conducted in June 2025 by Greenpark Digital in collaboration with Censuswide, highlights stark generational and regional differences in how shame and judgement shape social perceptions.

Key findings from the TENA survey

• Shame spirals: 57% of older millennials (aged 35–44) report feeling ashamed in common situations, with 69% citing panic attacks, 67% urinary leakage, and 66% visible sweat patches or body odour as top triggers.
• Judgemental tendencies: 36% of millennials admit to judging others for these same issues, the highest rate among all age groups, with sweat patches and rashes being the most judged.
• Social media influence: Growing up online may amplify millennials’ self-consciousness, heightening awareness of how vulnerable moments are perceived.

In contrast, those aged 55 and over report the lowest levels of embarrassment (40%) and judgment (12%), suggesting age brings greater acceptance of human flaws. For example, only 17% of this group feel shame about buying intimate products, compared to 41% of millennials. This generational shift points to a cultural change where experience fosters empathy and perspective.

Regional variations in shame and judgement

• Midwest: Least judgemental region, with only 20% judging others on average. Top shame triggers include urinary leakage (60%) and anxiety (59%).
• Northeast: More focused on appearance, with 28% judging others for being overdressed or underdressed. Urinary leakage (62%) and sweat patches (59%) are key shame triggers.
• South: Highest shame around falling in public (53%). Sweat patches and body odour (61%) top both shame and judgment lists.
• West: Least self-conscious about personal health discussions (28%) and wardrobe malfunctions (11% less shame than other regions). Anxiety (56%) and sweat patches (56%) are major concerns.

The survey underscores a broader pattern: Americans are harsher on themselves than others. For instance, 59% feel shame about urinary leakage, but only 24% judge others for it. This disconnect suggests an internal narrative where individuals assume harsher judgment from others than actually exists. Personal hygiene, such as body odour or food in teeth, consistently ranks high as a source of both shame and judgment across all groups.

Gender differences in embarrassment

• Women: More likely to feel shame about sweat patches (61% vs 57%) and wardrobe malfunctions (51% vs 46%). Less judgmental overall (18% vs 28% for men).
• Men: Report higher discomfort buying intimate products (50% more than women) and judge others more for emotional outbursts like anxiety (30% vs 20%).

The survey also reveals that the more someone feels shame, the more likely they are to judge others, a cycle potentially fuelled by personal insecurities. This is particularly evident among millennials, whose exposure to social media may intensify self-criticism and scrutiny of others.

Cultural and social implications

The findings highlight how societal pressures, particularly around appearance and emotional control, shape perceptions of vulnerability. In the Northeast, a stronger focus on social dress codes may reflect regional cultural norms. Meanwhile, the Midwest’s lower judgment rates suggest a more forgiving attitude towards everyday mishaps. The South’s sensitivity to public falls and the West’s relaxed stance on personal health discussions further illustrate how location influences social norms.

TENA’s research calls for greater empathy, urging society to embrace shared vulnerabilities. “Managing life’s challenges with dignity should never be something to feel ashamed about,” the company stated. By understanding these differences, Americans can foster kindness towards themselves and others, reducing the stigma around common human experiences.