Research is telling us that younger people are not getting married at the rates and ages of generations before them. They are waiting longer to get married or opting to not marry at all. The percentage of people getting married is definitely declining since the 90’s. Values are changing and our culture is approving alternative options, whereas years ago marriage was the goal and the normal outcome of adulthood.[perfectpullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]I have to believe that the young people of today have different thoughts on marriage, maybe because of the divorce rates of their parents’ generation.[/perfectpullquote]
I have to believe that the young people of today have different thoughts on marriage, maybe because of the divorce rates of their parents’ generation. They might not want to go through what their parents or their friends’ parents went through with all the destructive drama and trauma associated with a divorce. My daughter’s friends seem to all have gone through this with their parents divorcing.
While I can understand people being leery of the negative outcomes of a failed divorce, the benefits of a successful marriage need to be re-explained and understood. I believe that many people truly don’t understand the creative potential that is possible when a relationship is in harmony. Opting out of commitment and marriage may seem like the easy road but in reality it denies one of the many benefits available.
A man and a woman are created different for many reasons, some obvious and some obscure. If we were to learn some of the secrets about ourselves and our counterparts, I guarantee that our relationships could be viewed in a totally different and more positive light. One of the most important of the secrets reveals how the opposites can learn from the other.
In my book Master the Mystery of Human Nature: Resolving the Conflict of Opposing Values, I briefly outlined how as human beings we create our lives with our thoughts and our emotionally created feelings. Our thoughts can be demonstrated to be electrical impulses in the brain that can be measured by an electroencephalogram. Our emotions originate in the area of our heart and have been shown to be electromagnetic by nature. It has been documented that our hearts have up to 40,000 neurons that can send messages to the brain that include emotions.
Our hearts and brains are connected to produce electromagnetic waves that are sent out with all thoughts and their accompanied emotions. With these electromagnetic waves we influence those around us with the wave’s positive or negative characteristics. This will be done unintentionally or by intention. Those unaware of this secret will live a life ruled by the results of their untrained thoughts and emotions. Those aware have the potential to influence and possibly create their future realities.
People are emotional beings and all of our choices and decisions in life come from a hierarchy of our internally held emotional values. In my book I explained how many, if not most of our emotions are present at birth. We are somewhat pre-programmed by these emotions and their values. If we can access the more positive emotions with positive thinking, it has been said that there is no limit to our possibilities.
There is a prize for our relationships and this is what is missing in our conversations. Men are more ruled by their thinking than women; and women are more emotional than men. See where I’m going with this? A marriage of a man and a woman is really symbolic of the joining of our electromagnetic natures. We need both in order to be the creative beings that we were designed to be. If we are to break free from our instinctual robot like reactions that most of us are controlled by, then this creative potential needs to be cultivated.
In most relationships, the partner that is strongest in the thinking department can help the other to develop new thinking skills. Also, the partner who is strongest in the feeling side can help their partner to develop their feeling capabilities. Through my personal experience this usually happens when I have been in a conflict with my wife that leads to a breakdown. Then, through our commitment and devotion to each other, we have a breakthrough that leads one or both of us to a newer and better understanding. Nobody ever said this was going to be easy!
If we are going to live our lives to the fullest, mastery of our emotions and thoughts are critical. Nowhere in this life is there a better classroom to learn these skills than when a woman and a man with their opposing values commit to each other and place the relationship above their own narrow concerns.
Scott Trettenero’s recent book, Master the Mystery of Human Nature: Resolving the Conflict of Opposing Values helps readers learn about themselves, others and how the world works because of our differences. Scott has maintained a solo dental practice in Southwest Florida since 1981. His research on quality service in dentistry and his interest in human temperaments formed the basis for his first book, Unlocking the T-Code. He is married and has two children. You can follow him on Twitter @