With dreamy eyes, he whispered softly, “I love you.” Was he speaking to his significant other? His friend? His Labrador? His bank account? His reflection in the mirror? His newly minted diploma? His lasagna? Indeed, love is such a vague and broad term that it could apply to any of these scenarios. The one thing most people agree on is that love represents a deeply positive evaluation. When a person or animal acts with intent to promote the health, peace, safety, and care of another, that is love.

Love can be both a verb and a noun. Merriam-Webster offers nine different definitions. Psychologist Scott Peck defined love as “the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth”. I would expand on this definition to include physical and psychological growth as well. My own definition of love is “affinity resulting in thoughts or actions that promote, develop, or expand the well-being of the beloved.”

In my view, inanimate objects cannot be loved in the same way that people and pets can; they can only be liked very much. What is often perceived as loving an object may simply be the pleasure it brings, similar to enjoying a good slice of pizza, or an emotional attachment arising from the memories or feelings it evokes.

Similarly, what we call a “love” of clean air or water stems from the concept that nature is valuable and should be preserved. While I believe concepts can be loved, as I will explain, computers cannot love because they lack the capacity to feel affinity.

Is love an emotion? Simply put, no. Often we feel warmth and happiness alongside love, but a feeling does not define love. We may feel positive emotions towards others and yet seek to control or meet our own needs at their expense, which can lead to harm in the name of “emotional” love.

If a computer is programmed to support human emotional well-being, is it loving? Does it feel affinity? No—it is simply following the instructions of its programmer, who may have created it out of genuine care or for financial gain. Often, motivations are mixed.

Kendra Cherry captures the range of views on love, noting: “Psychologists, sociologists, and researchers disagree somewhat on the characterisation of love. Many say it’s not an emotion in the way we typically understand emotions, but rather a fundamental physiological drive.” Psychologist and biologist Enrique Burunat states that “love is a physiological motivation, akin to hunger, thirst, sleep, and the sex drive.” Conversely, the American Psychological Association defines love as “a complex emotion,” while others classify it as a secondary emotion derived from primary emotions.

Where does love come from? Anna Manchin points to evolutionary origins: “…regardless of the object of our love – lover or friend, God or dog…these effects are largely underpinned, in the first instance, by a set of addictive neurochemicals that support the bonds we create: oxytocin, dopamine, beta-endorphin, and serotonin.” These chemicals make us feel euphoric and calm, drawing us towards those we love and rewarding us for investing in our relationships, even through difficulties. While love may feel wonderful, it is ultimately a form of “biological bribery,” an evolutionary mechanism to foster cooperation and ensure the continuation of genes through generations.

Do animals love? Berit Brogaard, PhD, argues that they do. She states: “There is one thing we do know: Your dog or cat doesn’t regard you merely as a food dispenser. Pets, as well as zoo animals, form strong attachments to their caregivers. As attachment is a form of love, animals are indeed capable of loving their caregivers. Dogs have been reported to love their owners so deeply that they mourn their death for many years.” Numerous cases illustrate pets defending their owners, even at great risk to themselves.

In the end, love appears to be an evolutionary adaptation that enhances our chances of survival. Just as food sustains us and rewards us with pleasure, love fosters reproduction, friendship, and cooperation, bringing warmth and happiness. At its most fundamental level, love may simply be biology at work – survival of the species.

Colleen Ciavola is an author, physical therapist, and mental health counsellor known for her book “Dancing With Housework”.