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Mastering Emotional Intelligence Can Transform Your Life

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Emotional intelligence (EI) is more than a buzzword; it’s a skill set that can profoundly impact your personal and professional life. From enhancing relationships to improving decision-making, EI is a cornerstone of a fulfilling existence. Let’s delve into the ways you can master emotional intelligence and why it’s so crucial.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions while also being aware of and influencing the emotions of others. It’s not just about being empathetic or a “people person.” Emotional intelligence involves a range of skills, including self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Why is it important?

Research has shown that emotional intelligence is often a better predictor of success than IQ. A study by TalentSmart found that 90% of top performers in the workplace have high emotional intelligence, while only 20% of bottom performers possess this trait. This isn’t just about career success; emotional intelligence can also improve your relationships and overall well-being.

How to develop self-awareness

The first step in mastering emotional intelligence is developing self-awareness. This involves understanding your own emotions, triggers, and reactions. Start by keeping a journal to track your emotional responses to different situations. Reflect on these entries to identify patterns and areas for improvement.

Practising self-regulation

Once you’re aware of your emotions, the next step is learning how to manage them. This doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings but rather controlling your reactions. Techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a short walk can help you gain perspective and respond more effectively.

Boosting your motivation

Motivation is another key component of emotional intelligence. People with high EI are generally more motivated and focused on their goals. To boost your motivation, set achievable targets and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement will keep you engaged and committed.

Cultivating empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s not just about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes but also about responding in a way that shows you care. Listening actively and asking open-ended questions can help you better understand the perspectives of those around you.

Building social skills

The final piece of the emotional intelligence puzzle is social skills. This involves not just communication but also conflict resolution and building rapport. One effective way to improve your social skills is through active listening. This means fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what the other person is saying.

Putting it all together

Mastering emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey, but the benefits are well worth the effort. From improved relationships to career advancement, the skills you gain will serve you in every aspect of your life. Remember, it’s never too late to start developing your emotional intelligence.


Emotional intelligence is more than just a set of skills; it’s a way of navigating the world that can bring about profound changes in your life. By focusing on self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills, you can unlock a more fulfilling and successful existence.

Leo Wilson, PhD is a psychologist and author specialising in emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships.

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