Everything that we do has consequence. As such, there is a domino effect in lying. Therefore, somewhere in the long run, a liar is someone who became a thief – a thief of truth.
Sadly, lies may have been a sort of a convenience for many of us. It’s a reality check that people tend to lie from time to time – be an intentional or unintentional. There are tons of reasons why we end up lying to someone: some reasons may be acceptable, and some may be a hard pill to swallow. As the saying goes, the truth hurts, lies worst. But why do we resort to lying anyway?
The habit of being a lair goes back to childhood. Research shows that children who realise that beliefs can be false are more likely to lie. But why is then that if adults are not fond of lying, why do children end up learn to lie? As we nurture the child to become a better person, we must emphasise the importance of honesty and the consequences of lying.
Lying involves two parties: the deceiver and the deceived. When we define both participants, the deceiver gives false information and manifests half-truths and intentional exaggeration. On the other hand, the beguiled is the target of incorrect information provided; someone from whom truths is hidden.
We tend to be gullible for multiple of reasons such as we are grown to the belief that lying is a bad habit; so we tend to have this instinct that people are not fond of doing it primarily to those we give our trust. Also, we might be overwhelmed by the information and not been given a chance to process it thoroughly. Another reason could be that our emotions might be a hindrance to discern truths from lies.
But why the deceiver tells lies? It is believed that the lie has some gain than by telling the truth in which we consider the act of lying has a personal benefit, a clear sign of selfish act or either the lie will benefit the society. Any of the two, the lie, will help the deceiver at all costs.
It can be challenging to discern truths from lies, especially when they are habitual liars – consistent from giving deceptions that it has become ingrained in their personality.
We are now advancing when it comes to technology. But, ironically, there is no technology that can fully determine if someone is lying to us. But some clues will help us determine if someone is deceiving us from a lie, such as the vagueness of information, repeatedly asking the question before answering, lacking to provide certain information, and the inconsistent behaviours. These indicators might help determine if someone is lying to us, but there is no universal or surefire sign if someone is lying.
Being deceived by lies can be a source of trauma. The truth hurts, so we lie. But sadly, lies hurt worse than truth. Habitual liars may seek help from experts and face the reality that they have a behaviour problem. Everyone interprets the truth sometimes but always have empathy. A good way to realise this is to put yourself on the shoes of the deceived, and ask yourself how it feels to be fed by lies. Of course, no one likes it. We all need to accept and face the truth that is given to us.
Dina Relojo is the social media manager of Psychreg. She is a teacher from the Philippines.