Surrender. Have you ever thought about that concept? It’s one of the hardest, but most important lessons on the way to personal growth. There are great things that come naturally in your life. Then, there are great things that come because you worked hard for them. And then, there are those things that don’t come no matter how hard you try to make them happen. That’s when surrender comes into the picture.
I always dreamed of becoming a famous author. I’ll spare you from the descriptions of my struggles, but I mentioned that for a reason: I recognised the moment when I needed to humble myself and give up on that goal. I’m still a writer. I work for AussieWritings and I’m pretty successful at my job. Do you know what the difference is? Now, I’m not living in dreams. I’m living in reality.
To me, letting go is the story of success. There are specific signs in our lives. They tell us that some dreams are simply not for us. They tell us that, in order to be happy, we need to give up on those dreams and surrender to reality.
Let’s explore those hints:
1. There’s too much waiting involved, and it exhausts you – Some dreams have nothing to do with our efforts. No matter how hard you try to make something happen, the final decision is up to someone else. Here are some examples:
A woman has a boyfriend and she desperately wants them to get married and have kids. She gave hints, but she also had the direct conversations. He keeps telling her to wait until he’s ready. Years go by, and he’s still not ready. He never will be. It’s time for her to let go of this dream. That’s the only way for her to be happy.
A guy wants a promotion. He works for a marketing firm and he keeps making it more successful by the day. But his boss hates him. Whenever there’s a job ad for a higher position, this guy applies. He never gets it. At one point or another, he has to quit and look for another job.
Patience is part of every accomplishment. It’s a great personal trait to have. However, when a lot of time goes by and you realise that you have no other options than more waiting, it’s time to consider letting go.
2. You’re not enjoying the beauty of the moment – Let’s imagine someone whose dream is to graduate on time and become ridiculously successful by their 30s. They are so consumed by this big dream that they can’t pay attention to the joys of daily life. Yes; this dream may become reality. However, they will lose more than they will gain. They can still gain success if they relax a bit more, right?
Analyse the way an important dream reflects on your reality. It may be anything. Starting a family, becoming famous, getting rich… anything. Does this dream consume all your thoughts and plans? Does it prevent you from enjoying simple good things? If that’s the case, it’s time to let go.
When you stop being obsessed with this, you’ll realise you’ve been ignoring too many beautiful things. That dream was actually making your life miserable. Yes; it might still happen. If there are realistic chances for you to get where you’re headed, keep going. However, do not get obsessed. Do not allow a single goal to take control over your life.
3. You can’t make it no matter how hard you try – This was me. This was my sign. No matter how hard I tried to write something great, I always failed. It took me a long time to realise that novel writing wasn’t for me. I still have the goal ‘write a good novel’ somewhere at the back of my head, but I definitely carried on with my life.
You want another example? Imagine an athlete, who strives to get into the Olympics team. She is highly dedicated and committed, but she’s never quite there. There’s always someone who takes her place in the team. Years go by and she keeps trying, but she can’t make it. Maybe it’s time for her to let go of this dream and focus on her career as an athlete from another perspective.
Letting go is hard, but it’s also necessary
Whether you like it or not, life will force you to let go of something at one point or another. We can’t have everything we want. And that’s OK. It’s a test for your humility and humanity. You can go through it! When you let go, you’ll finally see the beauty in all things you used to neglect.
Olivia Ryan is a journalist who always tries to see the bright side of things. She likes to inspire people in her writings and to enjoy a mysterious beauty of twilight. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.