Does awareness of reality make you anxious or depressed? Does empathy and social conscientiousness make people more susceptible to mental health problems? 

How much truth is in the adage that ignorance is bliss? When is too much or too little awareness of reality a wellbeing problem? How much and which parts of reality should you let into your mind to protect your well-being? 

Is there an optimum amount of reality to be aware of and acknowledge? If so, what is that optimum, and what are its characteristics.

Life can be about solving one problem after another. Sometimes the problems come thicker and faster than we can deal with them. When that happens, the temptation is to ignore some problems and deny the existence of others. Indeed, that may be the normal and appropriate response when reality becomes too painful to deal with. That begs the question: Is facing reality a recipe for anxiety and depression? 

What is reality? 

Our own reality, is something that we all think we understand on one level. Yet, on many other levels, we are aware that wider reality is often too complex to process, let alone comprehend. 

How much of reality is… real, and how much of it is merely a construct in our mind, shaped by our hopes, biases, beliefs, perceptions, culture, and personal experiences? 

Are our emotions real? 

Other than those people who are extremely abnormal, we all experience emotions. If one person has an extreme emotional reaction in response to an event and another has a fleeting moment of curiosity about the same event, is the milder emotion any more or less real than the intense emotion? 

Given that our emotions are usually fleeting, are they still real when they have passed? If someone claims to have an emotion, “I am offended by that,” is the emotion “real” or manufactured to enable the person to play the role of victim? Is their claimed victimhood real? Is it manipulative? 

If we cannot determine what is real, even with ourselves, how can we ever know what is real and what is not, in the world or others? 

Descarte famously struggled with the question of what is real and how do we know it is real. His 1637 realisation, documented in “Discourse on the Method,” on first viewing, sounds like an answer: Je pense, donc, je suis (I think therefore I am). 

Is it? Who is this “I” that is doing the thinking? How does this “I” know that it is thinking? Can this “I” know whether someone or something other than the “I” is doing the thinking? If the “I” does not think, does the “I” still exist? Does the “I” only come into existence when the “I” thinks? 

Countless thinkers over the millennia have tried to understand what reality is. Here is a tip: don’t spend too much time dwelling on the question, ‘What is reality?’ Why? Many of those thinkers have, in reality, driven themselves really mad, out of touch with reality, trying to define and understand reality. Trying too much to understand reality can be really bad for our well-being.

Reality awareness: costs and benefits

Our awareness of reality, whatever that is, comes with benefits and costs. On the positive side, understanding the reality of the world around us, enables us to make informed decisions, and better connect with others. It helps us to appreciate the good things in life, the beauty of nature, love, and human connection. It is gives us empathy with those who are suffering, and empowers us to work towards positive change. 

The costs of being aware of reality are heavy. High levels of reality awareness can also be vexatious on the spirit. For instance, when we become aware of, or witness injustice, mendacity, violence, and environmental destruction,. 

The media know that bad news sells; the worse the news, the more coverage they receive. 

The constant stream of negativity bombarding us through the media increases our anxiety and sense of helplessness.  One of the mental behaviours that makes it possible for us to form and deepen relationships, empathy, can lead to emotional overload when we are faced with widespread and ongoing suffering. 

What methods do people adopt to cope with reality? Some choose wilful blindness, or blind-eye-itis. That is, they have become aware of some horrible aspect of reality, but have chosen to turn a blind eye to it. They block it out of their awareness, even when it is screaming in front of them. Why? They believe it is in their best interests to ignore it. 

Every hour, all over the world, a new scandal emerges, and vast numbers of people knew about it yet said nothing and do nothing. Others choose not to explore the truth of their situation, in full knowledge that they may discover some reality that will disturb their blissful ignorance. 

The adage “Ignorance is bliss” might hold a smidgen of truth.  Being blissfully unaware of some harsh realities can offer temporary peace of mind. Being unaware of the fact that there are 54 murders that will be committed this hour and every hour across the globe, is good for our peace of mind. 

If you didn’t know that number, it may have upset you. Avoiding such emotional upset is why we choose not to fully engage with reality. Too much reality is, frankly, unbearable. 

Yet, too little awareness is the basis for allowing wrongdoing to continue. Slavery of human beings, in plain sight, as an openly traded commodity, sanctioned by laws, in many countries all over the world, was allowed to continue by a combination of self-interest and denial, or wilful ignorance of the brutal reality. 

Where is the “Goldilocks zone” of awareness?

The Goldilocks zone is a term used to describe the earth being at the optimum distance from the sun to sustain life. Too much closer to the sun, and earth would be like Venus. Too much more distant and it would be as Mars. Both are devoid of the conditions that are necessary for life.

Where is the sweet spot for awareness of reality?  What is optimal amount of reality we should be aware of? 

As a general principle, to find the sweet spot, it is wise to consider awareness of reality in four areas.

• Lack of awareness of what could harm us. 
• Too much awareness of what could harm us.
• Lack of awareness of what could help us.
• Too much awareness of what could help us.

To illustrate, let’s use awareness of gravity and ageing.

Lack of awareness that stepping off a high place or building will subject us to the force of gravity, which will accelerate us towards the ground, potentially killing us, is harmful. 

Too much awareness that the same force of gravity will eventually, with age, make every part of our skin saggy, and dwelling on that, can do harm to our morale and emotional well-being.

Lack of awareness of what could help puts us in a situation where we don’t know what could help, and we can miss out on life-enhancing opportunities.

Too much awareness of what could help can paralyse us with indecision, (the tyranny of choice), making us unable to choose between desirable options.

Ideally, we need to have enough awareness of the reality of what can harm us, to protect ourselves, but not so much that we are left anxious, hypochondriacal, or paranoid. 

Equally, we need to find a balance between knowing enough of the reality of what can help us, and not being aware of every conceivable benefit we could attain.

Navigating awareness of reality

Here are some general ways to navigate awareness of reality:

• Focus. Choosing what we focus on enables us to better control our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. Focusing on the positive aspects of life, even amidst real and present challenges, can protect our morale and avoid having it depleted. That is not to say, ignore problems and threats. Choosing to focus our minds where we can make a positive difference is wisest. 
• Take action. When confronted with real-life problems, take constructive action.  By taking even small steps, we avoid the emergence of feelings of despair and helplessness.
• Reframe reality. When negative situations hit, try to see them as opportunities for learning and growth. That can be unbelievably challenging when we have been subjected to serious harm or a deliberate injustice. 
• Adopt empowering coping methods. We can’t control what happens in the world or the dark, toxic side of others. We can control our response to it. Developing healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise, relaxation techniques, and engaging in social support can equip us to handle the blows that life inevitably throws our way.
• Share and learn together. When we explore our perceptions of reality with others, we can get closer to understanding it, and how to deal with it.
• Finding a healthy balance. At the extremes, awareness of reality is dangerous to our wellbeing. Being Pollyanna, (everything is wonderful, all the time, in every way) is just as dangerous and extreme as turning a blind eye to reality. Equally dangerous is lasting lugubriousness; assuming all of reality is depressing and desolate. 

Final thoughts

The wisest and mentally healthiest approach is to be sufficiently aware of reality to be happy and empowered, while remaining cognisant enough of threats and problems that you can deal with them if you can and if you have to. 

Professor Nigel MacLennan runs the performance coaching practice PsyPerform.

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