Home Family & Relationship The Invisible Wounds of Separation on Children – How to Heal Them?

The Invisible Wounds of Separation on Children – How to Heal Them?

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Post-separation, do you feel navigating the parenting journey is like walking a tightrope?

Trying to balance your kids’ needs while managing your own emotional whirlwind feels like juggling with one hand tied behind your back. Worry no more. Here’s a healthy solution for you:.

Have you ever heard of mindful parenting?

If not, it’s an approach that helps us learn to be present, empathetic, non-judgmental, and kind – not just to our children but to ourselves too. Helping to reduce conflict and strengthen the parent-child bond.

Let’s have a look at how we can make this work, keeping our children’s well-being front and centre.

Understanding mindful parenting

If “mindfulness” sounds like some new-age, hippie-dippy concept, trust me, it’s not. It’s backed by solid science.

Various studies highlight that mindful parenting leads to a decrease in reactive parenting behaviours and an increase in positive approaches. This, in turn, helps to improve a child’s ability to regulate their emotions and even enhance their overall well-being.

And when you’re dealing with the aftermath of a separation, these benefits can be invaluable.

Mindful parenting is about truly being there, in the moment, with our children. It means listening with our full attention, responding rather than reacting, and embracing each moment with kindness and understanding.

The impact of separation on children

Not all parents realise that their children feel the shake-up of their parent’s separation deep down. It’s a big deal for them, and it can trigger a whole range of emotions – anger, sadness, anxiety, confusion, you name it.

And that’s totally normal. Children are grieving the loss of their “normal” family life, and they need a whole lot of support and stability to navigate this transition.

So, how can family mediation and co-parenting help?

Family mediation provides a neutral ground for resolving conflicts and developing parenting plans that prioritise the children’s best interests.

And co-parenting isn’t just about logistics; it’s about laying down a solid foundation of cooperation and respect. It’s a step further to build a cooperative mindset between parents, where they’re both working towards shared goals instead of being adversaries.

Both family mediation and co-parenting share a lot of common ground with mindful parenting, like putting the children’s needs first, communicating openly, honestly, and collaborating to solve problems instead of blaming or making excuses.

By staying present and tuning into your children’s emotions without judgement, you’re validating their experiences and letting them know it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling. This kind of empathetic listening goes a long way in helping them process their emotions and feel understood.

And it’s not just about listening; it’s also about being proactive.

By including mindfulness into daily routines like meals, bedtime, and playtime, you’re creating a sense of consistency and calm amidst the chaos in your children’s lives.

  • Active listening: check
  • Actively mindfully responding: check
  • Engaging in daily routines with intention: check
  • Making time for self-care so you can be the best version of yourself for your children: double-check

According to Michael Cohen, a co-parenting mediator in Lake County, Chicago, these aren’t just fluffy ideas. Co-parenting is healthier for your children, and they’re concrete strategies that build stronger, more connected families.

Important: do not forget about your well-being in all this

Mindful parenting isn’t just about the children; it’s also about you, too. Self-care and self-reflection are crucial components of this approach. After all, if you’re not content, how can you be fully present for your children?

That’s why it’s important to recognise your emotional triggers and learn how to manage them.

Because, let’s face it, co-parenting can be a minefield of potential blow-ups if you’re not careful. But by practising mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, acceptance, observing, journaling, or taking a pause, you’ll be better equipped to respond to stressful situations with clarity and compassion rather than reacting impulsively.

Building resilience in childrens

Mindful parenting can help children develop the inner-wisdom they need to cope with the changes in their family structure. By providing a safe space for them to express themselves, you’re equipping them with invaluable life skills – That’s parenting gold.

It’s understandable, there will be challenges and setbacks along the way. But by learning the principles of co-parenting and family mediation, you’ll have a solid foundation to build upon.


So, there we have it. Mindful parenting post-separation, inspired by the wisdom of family mediation and co-parenting, isn’t just possible; it’s transformative too. It creates a nurturing and supportive environment for your children.

It’s about being their companion, their safe haven, and their guiding light through this transition and building a family life filled with understanding, respect, and, most importantly, love.

And who knows? You might just find that it benefits you just as much as it does them.

Remember, you’ve got this. And if you ever need a little extra support, there are plenty of resources out there – books, podcasts, support groups, you name it.

The journey to mindful parenting is ongoing, but trust me, it’s worth every step.

Ellen Diamond, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.

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