4 MIN READ | General

Psychology of Internet Dating

Peter Wallace

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Peter Wallace, (2020, June 1). Psychology of Internet Dating. Psychreg on General. https://www.psychreg.org/internet-dating/
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Internet dating is one of the best ways to find partners for dates today. However, it’s not always as easy as signing up and finding someone that is right for you; you have to put in some time and effort.

To better understand how to find a couple on Naughtydate.com, you need to understand the psychology of online relationships. A few brief tips will prepare you for a lifetime of success online. 

How to change the rules of the game to your convenience

The very first way method to develop a psychological edge in the realm of dating is learning about concessions and seduction. These two elements can change the way that the dates happen online by upending the expectations that your partner has for your relationship. These will give you the option for spelling out the way that you want the relationship to go.

For example, using an online dating site to talk about concessions would see you actively telling someone that you are willing to give something to get something. It’s quid pro quo; tell them that you want to have a date online on Friday as long as they meet you downtown for lunch on Saturday. When you’re willing to concede something to someone, they are more willing to do what you want.

The same works with seduction. Tell them that you’ll respect their boundaries on nudity, but that you would like to hear more of their thoughts. It’s about comfortably provoking a reaction from them that expands your relationship but doesn’t make anyone feel like they’re ‘losing’. It takes some practice to get it right. 

How to behave when dating online 

When you’re dating online, you have to behave in the right way if you have any hope of getting your relationship to develop. That means you need to understand that although an online dating site provides you with a certain degree of anonymity, you shouldn’t behave poorly. Too many people believe that being in the online realm and matching with someone means that they are bound in a real relationship.Unfortunately, all that truly means is there are more people looking to replace you when you fail to act appropriately. In fact, the online is where you want to show that you have the manners that would work well in a relationship.

Sure, some people use a website because they can let out their emotions in a way that they can’t in person. Yet, if you treat your dates how you would treat them in person with courtesy and respect, you’ll have a far greater chance of success than you would without it. Be kind, attentive, and desirable and you’ll definitely have a better chance of meeting someone for dates than you would if you acted like a fool. 

How to determine the personality type of the person

Another thing to remember in terms of psychology and dating is how to find out the type of personality of the individual that you’re dating. This can be difficult. However, as long as you remember that the best approach is to consider someone’s personality type in a broad sense rather than a specific one, you’ll do fine.

For example, you should keep an open mind and determine if the individual is needy. You’ll discover this if they constantly seek attention and reassurance. This will tell you that they are worried about the state of your relationship, and that can tell you a lot about a person. You need to pay attention to their behaviour patterns while not reading into every little thing they say.

As for how to intelligently structure communication, you have to think of the big and little pictures. On the big picture, you have to make a schedule for your dates as you normally would if you were meeting in person. There’s a reason that those dates worked; they gave you some space without suffocating one another in affection.

Just like a fire, too much fuel and not enough open air will smother the passion. On a small scale, try to work on a different theme for every conversation. Childhood, theory on love, work, other background information, and what sort of relationship they want are all different means through which you can get to know your partner a little better than you do already.

With that in mind, take some time to determine what is most important to you so that your communications are properly structured. 

On the internet (and in life), many behave differently

Many people go online to find a partner for dates. Yet, they don’t always act the same as they do in person. Generally, the freedom to feel anonymous when you’re around someone can provoke you to act in a way that reflects your true feelings, both positive and negative. Thus, it’s a good idea for you to realise that some of the people you run into online are going to act poorly just because they’re not able to do so in their everyday lives.

Still, you might find out that your dates act differently because they can be more confident online. After all, there is nobody holding them accountable to their timid nature as they are in person. So, you could find someone that is online who is very open about their feelings, but then you could meet them in person and they would clam up and not speak much.

Just remember that online dates are similar but intrinsically different in terms of psychological approaches; you can still find interesting and pleasant people online, though. 

Understanding the online dating mindset is something that takes time and practice. However, if you decide to start meeting singles using this method, you’ll have a great time. As long as you know how to delve into your date’s background and understand their behaviour, the two you can have a very deep and meaningful relationship. While it can take some practice to get started with these sorts of dates, you’re bound to have a good time.

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Image credit: Freepik


Peter Wallace has been an advocate for mental health awareness for years. He holds a master’s degree in counselling from the University of Edinburgh.


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