Whether in the bedroom or during your coffee break, a good sense of humour is something that can drastically change the mood you’re in, and severely improve the way you face uncomfortable mishaps that may occur on the way. Let’s face it, we’ve all experienced those awkward, embarrassing bedroom moments, which we hope no one saw (or heard), but you know very well that even though those cotton blankets might keep you warm at night, they won’t cover the embarrassment of what might have occurred.
So why not just laugh it off? Taking everything too seriously can be the biggest turnoff in bed – and isn’t the whole purpose of indulging in sexual pleasure to relax?
Whatever is happening, please don’t take it too hard (pun intended), and certainly don’t overthink it. It will not only negatively impact your mood, but may just put your partner in an uncomfortable position, and who would want that?
How to learn to stop worrying and love sex?
Whether it’s your first time you’re introducing sex toys into the bedroom, or maybe even using a sex doll to add that extra spice to your sex life, it’s inescapable that certain things may just not turn out exactly how you’d imagine. But that’s the beauty of experimentation because you shouldn’t solely limit yourself to what you know best, just in case things may not turn out picture-perfect.
You queefed, and you think your life is over. Or is it that you’re taking too long to reach that peak, and all that’s going through your mind is the ‘disappointment’ you are to your partner. Remember, Mount Everest can’t be climbed in one day, so don’t let the stress of not being able to reach the climax ‘in time’ get to your head.
Maybe it’s the new sex position, that you have only read about in books; but now you’re thinking that perhaps that novel is pure fiction, and it shouldn’t be adapted to a big-budget production, starring you as the villain? And when you’ve already starred in that ’embarrassing’ position, and it’s time for a sequel, you might, once again, want to leave the premier, as you have accidentally attended the wrong opening.
Yes, we feel for you – those moments can be somewhat embarrassing, but they happen to the best of us, so learning to turn them into humour is the best way you can go!
All those are just some of the examples that may prevent you from experiencing the pleasure that sexual intercourse is designed to provide, with you being more preoccupied with making sure that you’re doing everything correctly, rather than enjoying the moment. This could harm the level of intimacy you and your partner indulge in, making you both feel less confident and unable to incorporate each other’s sexual desires into your lives fully; and isn’t that what sex in relationships is all about? So when an embarrassing moment occurs under the sheets, laugh about it, rather than overthink it! You’ll see how much quicker you forget about it, once you change your mindset when small mishaps occur.
Next time you find yourself in an awkward situation that you might have wanted to avoid at all costs, just laugh it off and turn it into a joke. It will not only impact your relationship with the extra intimacy that will be the result of feeling comfortable with each other, but it will also allow your partner to feel more comfortable with their own misadventures.
You might even discover that what you considered your worst nightmare, might be a blessing in disguise, connecting you and your partner closer together, both on an intimate and personal level.
There are many stages in a relationship, the first time you stay over at your partner’s house for the night, the first time you meet their parents, and there’s always the first time a little (or maybe not so little) mishap happens while you’re having sex. But that’s the beauty of a relationship, getting to know the other person, in all ways imaginable. Because if you don’t feel comfortable around your significant other, who will you feel comfortable around?
Sometimes things don’t work out how we want them too, and we have to adapt our way of managing those, and at the end of the day, if you can’t laugh about it, should crying be the only option left?
Moreover, humour provides you with a sense of relaxation, which gets rid of the tension from your mind and body. Not only can humour help you overcome your fears of awkward mishaps in your intimate life, but it can also provide you with mental health benefits. Laughing also increases your endorphins levels; endorphins are natural opiates that give us feelings of euphoria. It makes laughing not only a perfect tension reliever but it also may provide us with a burst of chemicals that help our mental well-being.
Change starts within yourself, that’s why if you want to improve your relationship with your significant other and feel more comfortable around them, you have to accept that mishaps happen in life, and it’s the way you face them that defines how big or small they are. We’ve all been in those situations, thinking all we want to do is sink into the grave from embarrassment, but it doesn’t have to be that way!
From stretching your limbs to positions you’ve always wanted to try, to the climax that you can’t foresee reaching, you should face those situations with humour, rather than fear. And as they say, mistakes make perfection, so maybe that’s the way to go, in order to accomplish what you really want – both in bed and in life.
Helen Bradfield did her degree in psychology at the University of Edinburgh. She has an ongoing interest in mental health and well-being.