Dating, in general, can be stressful and modern online dating can be even more so. Dating apps provide a great way to meet new people, but if they cause you stress, you are not alone. The stress can come from the expectations of what you think dating should be like or the insecurities you feel when you compare yourself with all the other singles online. When a date doesn’t go well, it is easy to ask yourself what you did wrong and wonder if you will ever find someone. Here are some suggestions that can help you to make modern dating an enjoyable rather than a stressful experience.
Keep your expectations realistic
Quality relationships take time to form, and there are usually many challenges to overcome on the journey. A great relationship usually takes hard work and patience. A sense of urgency and unrealistic expectations can put too much pressure on you and ruin a potential relationship. If someone feels pressure from you, it can make them want to run in the opposite direction.
Part of having realistic expectations is to realize that you won’t connect with everyone. Even in situations where your initial attraction is strong, a relationship may not work out. Allowing yourself the time you need and taking pressure off yourself to find ‘the one’ can take away some of your stress.
If you cast in the wrong spot, you won’t see your stress lessen anytime soon. Whether you want to meet new people, try out casual dating, or find a compatible match, you need to choose the best dating sites. And if you are looking for escort affairs to spend quality time during an event or while travelling out of town, there are sites that cater to your needs. You just need to find the best one to ensure maximum online safety and privacy.
Reign in your competitiveness
The volume of people in the dating pool can be enormous, and this breeds competitiveness. If you feel you have to stand out from everyone else, it can lead you to exaggerate and be less than truthful in your profile. This doesn’t augur well as no good relationship is built on dishonesty.
Don’t focus on competing with others but be confident in what you can bring to a relationship. If you focus on the competition, you will probably constantly feel inferior. Focus on what you have to offer instead, and you will come across as more secure and confident. When you’re authentic and honest, you will feel much less pressure to perform and keep up a certain image. You can relax and get to know someone without worrying about the competition all the time.
Keep it simple
If the mere thought of online dating makes you feel stressed, you need to keep it simple. Start slow and don’t think about all the rules you should be following. Be open and honest, and go at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
Grabbing a cup of coffee with someone is an easy way to test the waters. Don’t focus solely on romance. Simply focus on getting to know the person better. If you start off being intense and serious, you can complicate the situation.
Think about an activity that you both enjoy for a second date. Don’t make it too long, and try to keep it fun. If you take things slowly, a relationship can start to develop naturally and spontaneously. You can always get out before you’re in over your head if you see any red flags.
Set your boundaries
Dating online can be time-consuming, and you may find you spend a large part of your day interacting with potential partners, swiping, messaging, and making connections. This can make you neglect your responsibilities and cause you to feel unfocused, which increases your stress. You can’t afford to let dating take over your whole life.
Setting specific times in which you use dating apps can help. You have other things going on in your life besides dating, and you need to find a balance. You need to make time for friends, family and other important commitments. You can get so wrapped up in online dating that you miss out on a chance for real-life connections and relationships.
Sometimes online dating can be a lonely process. It helps to have a family member or friend you can turn to who also does online dating. If the person understands the challenges of using dating apps, you can offer one another support and help to protect one another.
You can turn to the person when you feel confused or discouraged because someone is ghosting you or only communicates sporadically. If you have a great date, you have someone to share the experience with. You can laugh about the really terrible dates together. Ask your friend to remind you when you get too stressed about dating, and it isn’t fun anymore. The more transparent you can be with someone else about the whole experience, the easier it will be.
Zuella Montemayor did her degree in psychology at the University of Toronto. She is interested in mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.