Motherhood transforms your life in many ways. You suddenly go from only taking care of your own needs to managing the needs of a small human who is entirely reliant on you. It’s both magical and daunting at the same time.

But that’s not the only change you’ll notice as you start your motherhood journey. Many mothers also notice significant changes in their self-esteem. It can be both strengthened and challenged. 

Body image changes

The body changes are already immense during pregnancy, but it’s also common to experience significant physical changes after pregnancy that can affect your confidence. Many women no longer feel confident wearing the bikinis or revealing clothing they once did. That’s why so many mothers opt for mommy makeover surgery. Surgeons can remedy postpartum belly skin, sagging breasts, and even genital appearance problems to restore your pre-pregnancy appearance. 

Sense of purpose

For many women, becoming a mother is transformative. While they might have struggled with the meaning of life and their identity, they feel like they’ve found it once they become a mother. Essentially, they discover their sense of purpose and feel more powerful and confident as a result. 

Pressure and comparison

Comparison is the thief of joy, yet many new mothers find themselves constantly comparing themselves to other mothers, which can lead to self-doubt. If that’s not enough, they’re constantly bombarded by advice and tips on social media and feeling conflicted by their cultural expectations. Every day as a new mother should be joyous, but it’s regularly overshadowed by the thought that they’re not doing enough. 

Emotional growth

Becoming a parent can lead to emotional growth you never thought possible. Where you might have previously struggled with patience, self-awareness, and resilience, your desire to instil these traits in your own children may mean you experience such growth yourself.

Identity loss

As much as you love being a mother, that doesn’t mean it’s all you want to be. Many women experience lower self-esteem because they feel like their personal identities have been overshadowed by the role of “mum”, especially early on. 

It can feel as though now people associate you with being someone’s mum, and that you’re disconnected from your old life and its freedom, spontaneity, and friendships. You may even struggle with the loss of labels you once relied on, such as hobbies, your social identity, and your professional roles. 

Confidence through competence

We all face challenges in life, and you can feel a sense of triumph when you overcome them. The same can be said for parenting challenges like new routines, making decisions about your children’s needs, and even soothing your baby. When you successfully complete these tasks every day and form a manageable routine, you can build a strong sense of capability that increases your self-esteem. 

Reduced independence 

It’s not uncommon for new mothers to experience a loss of their self-esteem after losing some of the independence they once had. You can feel less like yourself when you no longer have the same hobbies, career, or social life you enjoyed before children. That’s not to say that you don’t enjoy your new way of life, but the constant responsibility, restricted movement, and no longer having an “off switch” can be a significant change to get used to. 

The self-esteem changes that many women face as they begin their motherhood journey can be significant. Motherhood doesn’t necessarily make self-esteem better or worse, but it can undoubtedly reshape it quickly and without much guidance.

Jeffrey Grant, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.