Grief, a profound personal journey, is uncharted territory. The labyrinth of emotions becomes intricately complex and disquieting when faced with the death of a young person, as it brings an additional layer of poignant sorrow and despair. But it’s essential to understand that there is no universally ‘correct’ way to grieve. Each person’s journey through grief is as unique as their fingerprints.
A pivotal step to managing your grief is acknowledging its non-linear nature. The ebb and flow of intense feelings like profound sadness, anger, guilt, and even disbelief are all common. There will be times where these emotions may seem overwhelming, interjected with periods of relative normalcy. Embrace your feelings as they come, rather than suppressing them. It’s paramount to practice patience with yourself during this time.
Unburdening through expression
The importance of articulating your grief cannot be overstated. Sharing your feelings and thoughts about the loss can alleviate the heavy weight of sorrow. This sharing can take place with friends, family, or a grief counsellor. There are several bereavement support services in the UK, like Cruse Bereavement Care, that offer free, confidential support to those in need.
When words fail to encapsulate the depth of your feelings, especially when dealing with a young person’s death, expressing yourself through other mediums can be therapeutic. Writing, painting, or any creative activity can help channel your feelings in a productive manner, aiding in the process of healing.
Remembering and honouring the departed
It’s important to keep the memory of the person you’ve lost alive. This could mean creating a scrapbook filled with cherished memories, establishing a charitable foundation in their honour, or simply dedicating a few moments each day to reflect on their life. These acts can foster a meaningful connection to the deceased and offer solace during the grieving process.
Addressing feelings of injustice
The untimely loss of a young person can often trigger feelings of injustice, leading to bouts of anger and frustration. It’s essential to recognise and address these feelings, as they can complicate the grieving process.
Physical health and grieving
The grieving process impacts not just our emotional wellbeing, but our physical health as well. It’s common to experience changes in sleep patterns, appetite, and energy levels. Ensuring regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and adequate rest can underpin your emotional healing journey.
Contemplating life’s greater meaning
Grief can stir deep existential questions about life and death. It’s normal to find yourself wrestling with spiritual, philosophical, or metaphysical questions. The contemplation of such profound subjects can lead to a renewed understanding of life, contributing to your healing process.
Seeking professional support
There is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help. Bereavement counsellors and psychologists are equipped with the knowledge and skills to guide individuals through their grief journey. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) is a valuable resource that provides information and referrals for those seeking professional help.
The journey ofgGrief
While the process of managing grief might feel overwhelming, it’s crucial to remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. Grieving is about learning to live with the loss while cherishing the memories of the person you’ve lost.
Above all, be gentle with yourself. You’ve suffered a tremendous loss, and it’s okay to take your time to heal. Your grief is a testament to the love you had for the person you lost. Hold onto that love; it’s a powerful force that can guide you through your healing journey.
Ben Jefferson is a psychotherapist, specialising in grief and bereavement counselling. He believes in using empathy and understanding to guide others through life’s most challenging moments.
