However long you have been married, there may come a time when your relationship seems to have lost its spark. Many couples argue more often or become bored with each other at some point.
Leaving these issues to grow can put a marriage under strain. But there is plenty you can do to protect your relationship and rekindle the closeness you once had.
If your marriage feels a little shaky right now, these tips may help. In this video from The Gottman Institute, relationship researcher Dr John Gottman also shares how couples can keep love strong during stressful times.
How to keep your marriage strong through communication
Communication is not only about asking your partner to do things. It is also how you build empathy, trust, and respect. Even after many years, there is usually more to learn about your spouse.
Look for chances to have intimate conversations. Talk about your hopes for the future or memories from the past. Listen carefully, and pay attention to your tone and choice of words. Make space for the things that matter to your partner and give them room to share their views. Over time, you will understand each other better.
Make regular time for each other
As well as talking, set aside quality time together each week. It does not have to be expensive. You could watch a film, cook together, go for a walk, or plan a day out.
Try new date ideas now and then. Small, consistent efforts show your partner that they matter, even if neither of you is especially adventurous.
Find room for compromise and tackle conflict early
Conflict is normal in any relationship. Problems tend to grow when they are swept under the carpet, because resentment builds and old issues resurface in the next big argument.
Try to sit down and talk things through calmly, as a team. Setting your ego aside and looking for a compromise can prevent future conflicts and help you come out with a stronger bond.
Consider couples counselling
If your marriage feels stuck, a couples counsellor can help. This is especially worth considering if hurtful patterns have built up and you have stopped communicating openly or respecting each other.
Counselling services such as The Truism Center in Grand Rapids, Michigan, can help couples make a breakthrough and rebuild compassion for each other. In the UK, organisations such as Relate offer couples counselling.
Every relationship goes through storms, but many couples find their way through to calmer waters. These tips are a good place to start.
FAQs
- Is it normal for a marriage to lose its spark? Yes. Many long-term couples go through spells of feeling disconnected, and closeness can often be rebuilt.
- How often should couples have date nights? There is no set rule, but regular time together, even once a week, can help you stay connected.
- When should we try couples counselling? Consider it when the same arguments keep repeating, communication has broken down, or you feel distant for a long time.
