Marriage is a complex institution. When two people decide to commit to a lifetime together and build a family, they don’t really plan or see it falling apart. However, even the best of marriages will slip into crisis because life is not always easy. Struggles will always be there but if both parties are willing to fight for their marriage, they will stay together.
There are good strategies that you can do to restore your marriage. Here are some expert tips that you can try:
Surround yourselves with people who are in a healthy and loving relationship
Do you have family and friends who have been together for decades? Do you have co-workers or acquaintances who are known for having non-negotiable family and couple times? As the old saying goes, who you surround yourself with can affect the way you live your life.
If you notice the negative patterns of family and friends, you may subconsciously be following them. For example, some of your friends may choose to spend Friday nights out for booze instead of spending it with family and it somehow rubs off on you. It could be small patterns that seem harmless at first but could evolve into bigger troubles in the long run.
On the other hand, if you surround yourself with couples who were able to nurture their relationship through the ups and downs, their habits could also rub off on you. Observe their best practices and try to do that in your own marriage.
Choose to love
When you decide to submit for marriage counselling in Windsor, Ontario you will probably realise that loving your partner more can help ease many of the misunderstandings you’ve had.
Love comes easy when the relationship is new. However, in marriage – when you have seen the best and the worst in each other; it is easier for love to fade. As cliche as it may sound, love is a choice and not just an emotion. When you choose to love your partner, it becomes easier to forgive each other’s shortcomings.
Put the relationship ahead of everything
One of the unfortunate things that happen after tying the knot and having children is forgetting about the relationship. Suddenly, the attention is shifted to taking care of the kids and providing for the household. But, marriages work well when both partners put it above everything – even the children. Kids even get the most love and feel happiest when they have parents who love each other best.
One of the saddest things heard in any divorce mediation room in San Francisco is that there was little communication during the course of the marriage. When two parties stop telling each other how they feel and what they are up to, the relationship ends.
For a relationship to flourish, never forget to tell your partner everything that you want them to know. From big conversations about managing the house, difficulties at work, and crises in the family to small details like what you want for dinner or what movie you wish to watch on the weekend, communicating is necessary. Remember that your partner cannot read your mind and if you are not going to say it, they will never know what you want or how you feel.
Give each other a healthy space
No matter how good a relationship goes, you need to see other people and enjoy their company, too. It is advisable to set time aside for you and your partner to meet with friends and family separately. Also, leave room for each other to do passion projects or pursue other things. When you grow individually, you bring more to the marriage.
Marriages need daily work. Each of you should strive to nurture the love and commitment for it to grow and prosper. Often, what you need to do is not grand gestures but small things like conversations, date nights, and free time.
Adam Mulligan did his degree in psychology at the University of Hertfordshire. He is interested in mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.