During uncertain times we can often feel lost and our confidence can diminish. We can lose our sense of identity and inner self-talk and doubt can creep in.
You are only human, I am only human, and no matter what face we show, we can all doubt ourselves and lose our way.
You are more than good enough today and, the wonderful thing is, you can be stronger and better tomorrow.
How can I start today to feel better about myself?
Two excellent ways to feel better and regain our sense of identity are with exercises such as the ‘best possible self’ and ‘taking charge’.
Best possible self
- Think of a recent time that you have faced a challenge. Break down the challenge and assess what it was about this scenario that caused negative emotion.
- Find a quiet space in your home and take a comfortable seat. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Imagine that there are no boundaries in the world, no financial constraints, no limitations to your ability. Now imagine your dream version of yourself with no limitations. You are strong, you are confident, you have a kind heart.
- What did that ideal version of yourself do in this challenging situation?
- Write down 5 small steps you can take to move towards that ideal version of yourself.
- Rather than focussing on the problem you have, instead focus on the steps towards your ideal future self. In turn as you move torward this ideal version of yourself, you will organically begin to handle such challenges as you mature.
- You become what you focus most intently on. Focus on the positive and make actions based on that positive notion.
Taking action and charge on a project
When we feel a strong sense of identity matched to our deeper values we have something to work with, to take action against, and to assess our problems against. When we feel that we are not good enough we begin to lose our identity and the sense of who we are.
- Choose to do something kind for more than one other person, ideally in a group setting. For example, you could choose to volunteer at a local homeless shelter, volunteer to host a small workshop on Zoom in music, art, accounting, IT skills and more.
- It is important that you focus on helping a group of people as you start to use a skill set that you have and, in doing so, regain a strong sense of identity. No matter what else is going on in your life you know that a small group of people now rely on you, your skill set, and your kind heart.
- You do not need to have an exceptional skill – it could be anything as simple as hard work, graft and the willingness to be reliable. Local charities need lots of help all the time.
- No matter what challenges you face, you can rest your head on your pillow at night conscious that you are making a difference to a group of people, you are needed, and you have a sense of identity.
Please instil the above two concepts into your life this week and start to regain your sense of identity and belief that you are good enough.
David Chorlton is a positive psychology practitioner, emotional intelligence teacher, and mindfulness teacher.