Quick summary: When distress narrows attention, a painful day can feel permanent even though emotions and circumstances continue to change. Research on hope and affective forecasting shows that people underestimate how much they adapt, so a modest expectation of one better moment can be enough to keep going. Small concrete actions and contact with another person protect well being when a grand purpose is out of reach, and professional help is appropriate if the strain becomes hard to carry alone.

There are periods in life when getting through an ordinary day feels like an achievement. You wake up tired, carry problems that are hard to put into words, and wonder whether things will ever feel different. People in that position often look for one big reason to carry on, a purpose large enough to justify the effort. Psychology suggests that such a reason is not always necessary, and that the possibility of change can be enough.

How distress narrows our view

When we are hurting, attention tends to contract around the present. Research on stress and emotional distress has shown that intense negative emotion reduces the range of options a person considers, which makes it harder to picture a future that looks different from the current moment. Clinicians who work with people in acute distress sometimes call this constriction, and it helps to explain why a painful period can feel permanent even though emotions are continually shifting. Something that seems unbearable on a given day may become more manageable with rest, support, treatment or a change of circumstances, but the distressed mind is poorly placed to predict this.

What hope actually involves

Hope is often misunderstood as a belief that everything will eventually turn out perfectly. In practice it can be far more modest. It may be the expectation that tomorrow could include one good conversation, a quiet morning, an unexpected opportunity or a moment of laughter. Hope of this kind leaves room for the idea that you have not yet seen everything your life contains, and psychologists who study hope generally describe it as a combination of wanting a better outcome and believing that some path towards it exists, however small the first step.

We are poor forecasters of our own feelings

Another reason to keep going comes from research on affective forecasting, which examines how people predict their future emotions. Studies by Daniel Gilbert, Timothy Wilson and colleagues indicate that we tend to base these predictions heavily on how we feel now, and that we underestimate how much we will adapt to new circumstances, including difficult ones. People are often more resilient than they expect, and their later perspective may differ considerably from the one they hold today. The person you will be in a year may think, feel and make sense of events in ways that are hard to anticipate from where you stand.

The role of other people

Human beings are not built to carry everything alone. Relationships offer emotional support and a sense of belonging, and they can reinforce the feeling that one’s life matters to someone else. This support can come from a friend who listens, a relative who checks in, a teacher, a colleague, a counsellor, or even a stranger whose kindness arrives unexpectedly. Conversations like these can loosen the sense that your story is unfolding in isolation, and they often bring in practical help that a person struggling by themselves would not have found.

An unfinished life

There is also the simple fact that your life is still in progress. You may not yet have met people who will become important to you, visited places that will make you feel more alive, or taken up interests that surprise you. Versions of yourself that you have not had the chance to become are still possible, and many people looking back on a difficult chapter find that its meaning changed once later events had been added to it.

Keeping going in practical terms

Continuing to live does not require a complete plan or a grand purpose each morning. On a hard day the aim can be small and concrete, such as eating something, resting, speaking to someone, stepping outside or giving yourself one more day. Doing so does not mean pretending that life is easy. It reflects the recognition that a painful chapter is not necessarily the whole story, and that the uncertainty about what comes next cuts both ways, since a future you cannot see may contain things you would value.

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If you are finding things very hard, speaking to your GP or a mental health professional is a reasonable next step, and in the UK you can contact Samaritans free at any time on 116 123. If you feel you may act on thoughts of ending your life, call 999 or go to your nearest emergency department.

Dina G. Relojo is a social media manager at Psychreg. She is a high school teacher from the Philippines.