Grief can feel especially challenging during the holiday season, a time typically associated with joy, family, and celebration. The emphasis on togetherness and joy may highlight the absence of a loved one, intensifying those feelings of sadness and loneliness. 

“Grief during the holidays can feel like navigating two worlds – the one that’s celebrating around you and the one inside you that’s mourning,” says clinical psychologist, Dr Omar Kowlessar. “It’s important to give yourself permission to experience your emotions without judgement. Recognise that grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and finding moments of comfort, connection, or even joy doesn’t diminish the love you have for the person you’ve lost.”

Dr Kowlessar, regional clinical lead at Vita Health Group, has shared five strategies to help people struggling to cope with feelings of grief during this time.

Communicate your needs

It’s okay to need space and say no to visitors, but it’s also okay to ask for help when you need it. Be clear with those around you about what you’re comfortable with and what kind of support you need. If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support. Book an appointment with your GP or refer yourself to an NHS Talking Therapies service if your mood and functioning iareadversely affected for a prolonged time. Know that you are not alone – there are people who can help you.

Give yourself time

Grieving is a unique process, and there is no set timeline. Allow yourself the time and space to navigate your emotions and accept that it’s okay to move at your own pace. It’s not always easy, but it’s important to let the process happen.

Take care of yourself physically to support yourself emotionally

The connection between mind and body means that when we feel physically healthy, we’re better equipped to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising. When grief becomes difficult to manage, many people turn to alcohol or drugs in a bid to feel better – only to feel worse in the days or weeks following. Avoid using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. Instead, engage in enjoyable activities such as exercise, meditation, yoga, or other hobbies.

Try to maintain hobbies, interests, and connections with others

Sticking to a routine and engaging in activities that bring joy can help us to process grief. During this difficult time, connecting with others and doing things you love can provide comfort and a sense of normalcy. Whether it’s socialising, listening to music, or doing group sport, maintaining your interests can boost your mood and help you to cope.

Express your feelings creatively

If talking about your loss feels too difficult, try expressing your emotions in other ways. Writing in a journal, creating a scrapbook, or volunteering for a cause related to your loss can help. Spend time with supportive people, whether that’s to talk about your loved one or simply to be around others who understand.

4 Important things to know about grief 

Grief touches everyone in unique, and often unexpected, ways. While there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, understanding some common aspects of the grieving process can help provide clarity and support during a difficult time. 

Dr Kowlessar has shared four key things to know about grief that may help you, or someone you care about, navigate the journey of healing and remembrance.

1. Grief is a unique process. Everyone experiences grief differently. It can be emotionally draining, making simple tasks or even leaving the house difficult. While some people become more active to cope, others may need more rest and time alone.
2. Grief has no set pattern. Cultural differences can shape how people express grief. Some may be open and expressive, while others prefer to keep their emotions private. Even though you may always miss your loved one, most people eventually find meaning, pleasure, and even new strength in life after a loss.
3. Grief can involve intense emotions. Grief often brings intense feelings like sadness, shock, numbness, denial, and anger. These emotions can come in waves and may feel overwhelming at times.
4. Depression is a normal part of grief. Grief and depression are linked – it is normal to experience a bout of low mood/depression after a significant loss, especially if it’s traumatic. Some people describe this period as feeling emotionally stuck and are unable to move beyond the sorrow, while others say they feel lost and alone. If the depressive episode continues for a prolonged period, making it hard to function, it may be helpful to seek support.