While official divorce rates have dropped by 30% since 2011, many couples continue to face significant challenges, with infidelity, poor communication, and unresolved conflicts among the most common causes of separation.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, greeting card marketplace thortful spoke to five couples, each together for over a decade, to uncover the key to a lasting relationship. Alongside communication, small gestures, and maintaining personal space, one surprisingly unanimous factor emerged: feeling comfortable enough to fart in front of each other.
Tom Lanaway, who has been with his partner for 11 years, highlights communication as fundamental to a strong relationship. “Having the ability to see a problem as separate from ourselves and solve it together is key. We argued for years about washing dishes until we realised Beth hates cooking and I love it. Now, I cook, and she washes up – problem solved.”
Dating and relationship expert Clarissa Bloomington of HenPartyDeals echoes this: “One of the most important aspects of a healthy long-term relationship is open and honest communication. Feeling safe to express thoughts and discuss issues fosters trust and growth. Strong communication requires patience, mutual respect, and a willingness to listen.”
Feeling completely at ease
All couples agreed that being able to be their authentic selves – including farting and indulging in guilty pleasures – strengthens their bond. Andrea, who has been married for over a decade, explains, “Your partner should be the person you feel most comfortable around. You find a balance between being yourself and maintaining some mystery to keep the attraction alive.”
Andy adds: “You should feel free to be yourself around your partner – except when you need a number two. Shut the door; nobody wants to smell that.”
Clarissa notes, “Most couples start openly farting in front of each other after six months together. Letting your guard down can mean unlearning social restrictions you’ve had for most of your life.”
A spokesperson from thortful says: “We see a lot of couples buying humorous and risqué Valentine’s Day cards for each other. It shows that being vulnerable – no matter how embarrassing – is a key part of a healthy relationship.”
Keeping things private
Andy Moody, who has been with his wife for 14 years, believes that keeping certain aspects of a relationship private is essential. “We rarely seek advice from friends or family. While outside opinions can be helpful, we’ve learned to prioritise our own discussions and decisions.”
Understanding relationships are never 50/50
Andy also dismisses the notion of a perfectly balanced relationship. “It’s never truly 50/50. Sometimes it’s 60/40, sometimes 80/20. If you start keeping score on effort, things won’t work. A strong partnership means recognising when one person needs extra support.”
Personal growth matters
Andrea, reflecting on her marriage, emphasises the importance of self-development. “Therapy, hobbies, friendships, and self-awareness have helped us both grow. Improving our self-confidence and communication has made navigating difficult conversations much easier.”
Making an effort
Clarissa points out that long-term couples often neglect quality time together. “Many couples stop having date nights after two years. But shared experiences—whether going out, travelling, or even a simple walk – are vital for maintaining connection.”
James Fernando, in an 18-year relationship, agrees. “We always try to make each other laugh. Spending time together – weekend trips, concerts, or even just watching a film – keeps our bond strong.”
Sophie Barker, in a 10-year relationship, stresses the importance of stepping up when needed. “If one of us isn’t feeling 100%, the other takes on more household tasks. It’s small acts of care that make a difference.”
While every relationship is unique, these couples agree that trust, communication, personal space, and, surprisingly, embracing bodily functions can all contribute to a love that stands the test of time.
