Dating in our modern world is certainly not a simple task. From dodging red flags to spotting green ones, finding the perfect match is no easy task. The last few years have not only seen a rise in awareness around toxic traits, but also the terminology used to describe them.
But from Loveboming to negging, what do these traits mean?
Our desire for toxic TV characters
Although we are taught to recognise and avoid those who display toxic traits, toxic relationships shown on screen can often be idolised or romanticised. Whether that be Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl or Ross and Rachel from Friends, these couples and their storylines make up some of our most loved episodes.
Dating and relationship expert Callisto Adams explains our love for toxic TV/movie relationships and characters, stating: ‘Essentially, it’s a combination of something relatable as a part of our reality, combined with our fantasies of what could go right. This creates a mixture of what happened to us and what we wished to have happened instead.’
‘The toxic traits minus the long-term consequences, plus the romanticising and the charm of the character make a deadly combination to which a lot can’t help but find themselves highly attracted.’
Toxic terminology explained by an expert
How to find pleasure without a partner
Solo pleasure is a really important part of self-care, as there are a lot of other benefits to be had from sexual pleasure, such as relieving stress and improving your self-esteem.
Sex expert, Ness Cooper, has shared her top four tips on how you can find pleasure alone:
Take your time and don’t rush things
Incorporate foreplay in the form of lubrication and massage; this will allow you to let yourself relax into the stages of pleasure.
Penetration isn’t the only method of masturbation
Sometimes individuals can leave a toxic relationship, and the form of sex they have gotten used to isn’t the type they currently need. Taking a moment to explore other erogenous zones and new ways of sexual pleasure is important.
Start adding in sexual aftercare after masturbation
Even when we play solo, aftercare can help us process feelings and physical sensations. It can also help ground you and help you feel ready to get back to day-to-day life afterwards.